


playing nice

by sa_honey



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-06-02 16:23:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19445161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sa_honey/pseuds/sa_honey
Summary: When your date for your sister’s wedding cancels at the last minute you’re left desperate for a replacement. An unlikely volunteer steps up and offers to fill the place.au:  enemies to lovers, fake dating au!!warning: there is smut in chapter 6 (the last chapter) however you do not need to read it as it is an optional chapter. the story officially ends on chapter 5!!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> \- a/n: hello lovelies! this is going to be my first slow burn chaptered fic. it will be fluffy and a tad angsty at times but it’ll have a very happy ending (smutsmutsmutsmut) so please enjoy! ((feedback is always welcomed))

You knocked rapidly on Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s apartment door, knowing full well that the rest of the boys would be there too. Sure enough, Yeosang answered, moving quickly out of the way to let you in.

“You guys won’t believe what’s happened,” you squatted down to take off your shoes while you spoke.

Wooyoung turned from the tv to look at you, “Some poor soul finally decided to sleep with you,”

You smacked the back of his head, “You talk a lot of smack for a virgin, Wooyoungie,”

He scoffed incredulously, “I’m NOT a virgin, I’ve slept with so many girls, right guys?”

The room was completely silent.

“Glad to know everyone knows how barren your bed is. But no this has nothing to do with my vagina,” you perched on the couch arm and grabbed a piece of pizza from the box on the table.

Hongjoong walked through from the kitchen holding two cups, “Does this have anything to do with Chan’s recent Snapchat story?”

“Finally, someone’s paying attention,” you thanked him for the cup of tea and placed it on a coaster on the coffee table.

“What does Bang Chan have to do with you banging our front door down?” Seonghwa spoke from next to you on the couch, making you startle at his hostile tone.

You tried to subtly move away from him, opting to sit on the couch arm by Wooyoung instead.

It’s not that Seonghwa was a bad guy, the opposite in fact. He looked after all the boys like they were family; he was always making sure they got home safe after a night out, offering to study with them, getting them out of trouble constantly. He was the perfect friend. To everyone but you.

Hongjoong had been your neighbour and platonic soulmate since diapers, and Seonghwa being Hongjoong’s best friend meant you had to spend time with him. All the time. When you first met each other, you got along really well immediately, and you quickly became The Three Musketeers.

Playdates turned into sleepovers, sleepovers turned into parties, and parties turned into nights out, and somewhere along the line you and Seonghwa drifted apart. You don’t even know why or how it happened; whether it was puberty or if you offended him somehow, but he now can’t stand your existence and you try to avoid him at all costs.

“Well,” you sighed taking a bite of pizza, “My sister’s wedding is over Christmas break and Chan was supposed to be my plus one for it. But now he’s gone and gotten himself a lovely girlfriend who, understandably so, doesn’t want him going away for a week with a girl that isn’t her. So now I’m back to being the best woman without a date and it’s going to be so embarrassing,” you took another bite of pizza, drowning your sorrows in food.

“You know I’d take you, but I have to finish my music practical, sorry sweetie,” Hongjoong commented from where he was sat on the floor, giving you a sympathetic smile.

“I’ve got exams, or I’d happily go with you,” Mingi turned to you, mimicking Hongjoong’s expression.

“Same here,” agreed Yeosang and Wooyoung.

You smiled and waved them off, “Guys don’t worry it’s one night, I’ll live,”

Hongjoong turned around and looked at you hesitantly, “Uhh, Isn’t Nathan going to be there?”

You smiled tightly back, “Yes, but I’m ignoring that,”

“Look,” Wooyoung sat up in his seat, “I get that you two are like an old couple with your inside jokes and pet names, but the rest of us are oblivious, so who the fuck is Nathan?” Wooyoung interjected.

Hongjoong answered for you, “Nathan is Y/n’s ex, the ex, and also her sister’s fiancés brother,”

You cringed at his words, “We dated for like five years, a whole childhood sweetheart thing,”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes, “As I remember it; he was a vile, cheating bastard that broke your heart multiple times,” the room got tense with his harsh tone, “What? He was. And Hongjoong and I had to pick up the pieces of her stupid mistake over and-“

“That’s enough Seonghwa,” Hongjoong warned him, but it was too late.

You got up and grabbed your stuff, ignoring everyone’s shouts, slamming the door behind you.

…

“Y/n, open the door,” it had been almost a week later, and you were still successfully avoiding Hongjoong and the rest of the boys, too embarrassed by Seonghwa’s words to face them yet.

“Go away Joong I’m busy revising,” he continued to knock on the door persistently.

You sighed and opened the door to see his smirking face, “Hey beautiful,”

“I haven’t showered in two days, don’t give me that,” you turned around and headed back to your desk.

You heard the door close and your bed shift, “You’re still avoiding the world?”

“I’m still revising for my exams if that’s what you’re asking,” you went back to highlighting the textbook in front of you.

“Did you figure out what you’re doing about the wedding?”

You shook your head, “Nope, plus my only way to get there was driving with Chan. Now my parents are going to have to drop a couple hundred to get me up there and it’s all just too much. I’m just not going to go,”

He sat up abruptly, making you turn to look at him, “WHAT? No no no, there’s no way you’re skipping Lou’s wedding. I’ll take you, just let me finish my practical piece,”

You smiled softly, “You need to get a good grade on this Joong, I’m not letting you rush it just for this, but thank you,”

The corner of his mouth perked up, you got nervous, “Why are you smiling? I’m scared,”

“I know who could take you, and he’s got a nice car to take you in,”

“I’m listening, who do you have in mind?”

He gave you a pained smile, and you quickly caught on, “No, there’s no way in hell, Hongjoong,”

“Come on Y/n, you know he didn’t mean it and he might be your only option,”

You sighed, putting your face in your hands, “It sure sounded like he did, just stop trying to defend him Joong. You guys can all hang out with him, I’m just tired of him being such an ass to me, I didn’t even do anything to him,”

“Just talk to him, please? For me? I don’t want you to miss the wedding and Seonghwa is the only one of us who doesn’t have any big projects or exams after Christmas break,”

You turned to face him, “You can convince him to go with me, I need to finish this paper. If he’s willing to be nice, I’ll play nice too,”

He broke out into a smile, “Consider it done, see you later sweetpea!” he blew you a kiss and darted out the door.

You decided to put on your headphones, needing the extra focus to finish this section of your research.

Not even twenty minutes later your phone started ringing, the vibration on the desk startling you.

Seonghwa.

“Umm, hello?”

“Could you answer your door? I’ve been knocking for ages, I look like a stalker,”

“Oh, shIT-“you scrambled towards the door, almost tripping over a pair of shoes, “I’m sorry, noise cancelling headphones, revising, umm,” his gaze was blank and it made you nervous.

“When’s the wedding?” he nudged past you and into your room, eyeing up the décor. You then realised he probably hasn’t been in any of your rooms for at least four years.

“Under two weeks now, they’re getting married on the 28th but they’ve planned this whole big retreat thing cause … Nathan’s family owns these cabins so we’re supposed to be there for Christmas and New Years,” you had a hard time speaking to him, you couldn’t read his body language at all.

He was silent so you panicked and continued, “But you don’t have to stay the entire time like you can leave early if you want, or I mean you don’t ev-“

“We’re going. When do you want to leave?” he picked up your stuffed teddy, a small smile playing on his lips.

It was such a small gesture, but it caught you off guard, “What about the 22nd? It’s a long drive, so if traffic is really bad and you get tired, we can stop off somewhere and still make it in time for Christmas Eve. But that’s just an option, of course, we can do whatever-“

“Have you always rambled this much?” he had one hand in his pocket, an eyebrow quirked. He almost looked like he was teasing you. He laughed at your confused expression, “See you next week.” His expression went back to being stoic as he left your room.

…

“Okay, remember to give my present to Lou and tell her I’m sorry I couldn’t make it,” Hongjoong was loading your bags into the boot of the car.

You playfully rolled your eyes at him, “I will, I will,”

“And message me the whole time so I know Seonghwa hasn’t killed you and I don’t need to send a search party,”

Seonghwa opened the driver’s door, “As if you’d ever find her body,” he slid into the seat and you looked at Hongjoong with panicked eyes.

“He’s joking,” he wrapped your scarf around you further, “you’ll be fine okay?”

You nodded, “Okay. I’ll send pictures, send me your piece when it’s done,” you climbed into the car and waved goodbye.

“No music?” he gave you a side eye and turned on the engine. He placed his phone in the holster, the Bluetooth connected immediately and an upbeat bubblegum pop song started playing. You couldn’t hold back your shock, “You listen to Twice?”

He just smirked and continued fiddling with the GPS.

The drive was mostly in silence, the small exception of him muttering about traffic under his breath or you laughing at the book you were reading.

“We’re going to this as just friends, and I’ll play nice, just so we’re clear,”

You snapped up, looking at his side profile as he focused on the road, “I mean yeah, I’m just surprised you agreed in any capacity,”

“I might be an ass to you, but we still grew up together. Lou is like my older sister, and I haven’t seen your parents in ages,”

You tried to recall the last time he came over for Sunday lunch, “That’s true, it’s not like you weren’t invited,”

“I know, I didn’t want to go,” you felt so dejected, knowing his reason for not wanting to be around your family was you. He turned down the music, “Read to me,”

You were struggling to keep up with his mood swings, “Wait, what?”

His expression was blank, as per usual, “Read to me. I haven’t read All the Bright Places in years,”

You started reading to him, stumbling occasionally and sometimes getting stuck stuttering on simple phrases, you expected him to make fun of you or point it out but he never did. He just responded to the words you read accordingly or helped you when you got really stuck. It reminded you of when you were kids and he taught you how to read out loud better, knowing how self-conscious you were about your stutter. You couldn’t help but feel warm.

You had been driving for a couple of hours at this point and the sun was already starting to set thanks to the short winter days.

You were yawning frequently and kept interrupting the story to do so, “Let’s grab you something to eat,” you could see him turning off into the nearest service station.

He fuelled up the car and went to grab you both something to eat. 

When he came back you were dosing off, curled up in the passenger seat. He opened the door and closed it gently, trying not to startle you, “Mmmph,” you rubbed your eyes and blinked at him sleepily,

“Eat something, then you can take a nap,” he handed you a paper bag filled with sandwiches and snacks.

“I’ll PayPal you money for the food,” you took out your phone but he waved you off.

“No big deal, don’t bother,” you watched him take out his phone and start watching a YouTube video while eating,

You both ate in amicable silence, enjoying your phone screens more than attempting to engage in awkward conversation.

“Are you ready to get going?” you nodded your head and readjusted in your seat, “I think you missed one of your snacks by the way,” he pulled out of the parking spot, going back to looking straight ahead.

You dug through the bag and found a bag of Jelly Tots, “Oh my God, I haven’t had these in years” you excitedly opened the packet.

“Remember when you came home after getting your braces off,” he had a small smile on his lips

“I ate like four bags consecutively,” he lightly laughed, the sound made your cheeks warm.

“You almost puked, you were on such a sugar high we had to take you on a walk cause you kept shaking. We ended up calling you Jelly Tot for four years,”

You laughed too, “Look, I hadn’t had any for like three years, I was excited to have my freedom,”

“You always made us eat the lime and orange ones,”

You dug out a red one and popped it into your mouth, “Because strawberry is the superior flavour and you love orange flavoured things,”

He shook his head softly, “I actually don’t, strawberry is my favourite too but I always gave them to you,”

You blushed, at a loss for words. You searched through the bag and handed him a red one, he opened his mouth and you hesitantly put it in, “I never realised you…” you trailed off your sentence, not really knowing how to word it.

“Get some rest, it’s only about four more hours until we’re there,” you just nodded and listened to the soft music he had put on before you left. You texted your parents to say you’d be there later tonight and put your phone in the console, closing your eyes and listening to him humming softly.

You don’t remember much of the rest of the journey, having fallen asleep not long after leaving the rest stop.

You were jostled in the car which woke you up abruptly, “Sorry, the road is rather bumpy, I was trying to go slow,”

You rubbed your eyes and sat up straight, rubbing the crick in your neck, “No it’s fine, we must be close,”

He hummed in agreement, “about five minutes away,”

“God, I slept for so long, I’m sorry. What time is it?” you asked, not being bothered to search around for your phone.

“Just after one, we got stuck behind a snow plough and gritter, so I had to pull over to not get whacked with the salt. Then we bumped into some cows, it’s been an interesting couple of hours, to say the least,”

You giggled to yourself and yawned, “You should have woken me up,”

“I was enjoying the peace and quiet,” he lacked his usual tone of malice behind his words.

Off in the distance you could see the cabins approaching, very few still having lights on, “Shit, I think everyone might be sleeping, we’ll have to go into the main building to check for left out keys or something,”

He parked the car near some others, you unbuckled your seatbelt, “The reception light is on so I’ll go in and check who’s still up, could you grab the bags for me?”

“Yeah sure, meet you inside,”

You opened the car door and immediately got hit in the face with freezing winter air. You jogged towards the large log cabin and opened up the door, dusting off the snowflakes on your way in, “Anyone still up?”

You started walking around looking for any signs of life. Just as you were about to round the corner and further into the building you smack straight into someone, “Oh my god I’m so- sorry,” your voice fell flat and your heart started racing.

Nathan.

“I thought I heard someone out here, I didn’t think it would be you, Y/n,”

You backed away slowly, gesturing toward the front desk, “Uhh yeah we got stuck in traffic, we’re just trying to pick up our keys,”

He walked by you, eyeing you up as he did, making you wish you had worn a longer coat, ”Sure thing, let me just check where you’re supposed to be,” you didn’t try to engage with him anymore.

“So, you’re looking good of late Y/n, how about the two of us go into town tomorrow and catch up?”

You felt bile rising up, “Uhh no thank you, Nathan, I’m good,”

“Oh come on,” he drawled out, “Think of it as picking up where we left off,” he came around the desk, keys in hand, teasing them in front of you, “just a harmless date,”

You went to grab them, but he held them higher, “Nathan, I’m tired just give me my keys,”

“Not until you agree to go on a date with me,” he suddenly grabbed you and pulled you against him, catching you off guard and making you panic further, “or you could always beg for them,”

You shoved him as hard as you could in the position but he barely budged, “Nathan let go of me!” you could feel tears filling your eyes,

“Hey baby,” the second Seonghwa’s voice broke through the room Nathan jumped back and you ran to his side, his arm coming around your shoulders, “what’s going on here?” he could feel you shaking against him and comfortingly rubbed your shoulder.

“Who the hell are you?” Nathan pulled his eyebrows together, he looked pissed off.

“Seonghwa, Park Seonghwa, Y/n’s boyfriend,”

Nathan’s face contorted, he let out a cocky laugh, “Wait, the same lanky creep that always used to be on Y/n’s ass? Glad to see nothing’s changed,”

Seonghwa smiled at him tightly, “The very same,” his hand fell from your shoulder and he started stalking towards Nathan, “But this lanky, creep managed to fill your place, very easily,” he was now so close he could easily headbutt him, “and unlike you, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. So, I suggest you give us our keys and head back to bed,”

He held his hand out patiently, Nathan dropped them into his hand with a scoff, “Thanks, Nate,” he turned on his heel and walked back towards me before stopping as if he’d forgotten something.

“Gosh darn, you know I lied. It actually was difficult to fill your space,” Nathan’s face held a not so subtle smug smile on it, “I had to get her used to three fingers rather than two,” you watched the smile wipe off his face as Seonghwa wrapped his arm around your waist, ushering you out the door, “Have a good night Nate, I know we will,”

The door slammed shut behind the two of you and you walked over to the car, sharing stifled laughter, “Thanks for saving me,”

He handed you both sets of keys, “Don’t get used to it,” the mood swings were back, “let’s head up to the cabin it’s freezing out,” he grabbed the bags and you two walked together, following the signs to cabin eight.

“What is this place anyways?” Seonghwa asked, his breath visible in front of him.

“It used to be an old summer camp. The camp went bankrupt and Nathan’s parents bought and converted it into some kind of getaway resort. I came up here a couple of times, did some kayaking, speed boating, that sorta stuff. I don’t imagine many people are here for winter, so I guess that’s why they’re letting us stay here,”

He nodded and listened while you spoke, “It’s nice and all but I’m getting Friday the 13th vibes,”

You laughed, feeling yourself growing colder by the second, “I’m sure I’ll be safe with my big, intimidating, loving boyfriend by my side,” you teased, seeing him roll his eyes in response.

“I had to think on the spot okay, I didn’t want that sleazebag touching you,” you felt a warmth in your chest at him looking out for you.

You got to the cabin, your shaky, numb fingers went to unlock the door, “You know, you don’t really strike me as a three fingers kind of guy,” you pushed open the door, reaching for the light switch on your way in.

He smirked as he walked through the threshold, “Wouldn’t you like to know,” you could hear the smirk in his voice and didn’t dare turn around as you headed to the bedroom.

You turned on the light and let out a groan, “Brilliant. One bed,”

You missed the way Seonghwa’s face steeled over, too caught up in your message to Hongjoong.

The two of you moved skittishly around each other while you got ready for bed. You exited the bathroom after changing and freshening up only to see Seonghwa putting on his bed shirt. His back muscles, which you didn’t know he had, rippled as he brought the material over his head. He was angled so you could just see one of his v-lines.

“Done in the bathroom?” his voice pulled you out of your trance.

“Yeah, all yours,” you moved over to your bag and out of his way.

He turned around, washbag in hand and walked past you to the bathroom, “By the way, it’s rude to stare,”

The door closed behind you, and your cheeks were aflame.

…


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- warnings: none - just fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- a/n: hello lovelies! chapter two is super soft and filled with fluffy moments, its lowkey a filler but i didn’t want it to feel that way ((feedback is always welcomed, excuse any mistakes))

You woke up early in the morning shivering. Seonghwa had hogged the blankets in the below freezing room. You scooched closer to him and yanked some of the blanket free from his iron grasp, immediately feeling his residual body heat absorb into your skin.

“Mmmph,” he rolled over, facing you, and tried to grab the blanket back.

“Seonghwa, piss off, I need blanket too,” your foot grazed his leg as you fought to keep your blanket.

He yelped and his eyes shot open, “Jesus, what was that?”

“My foot, idiot,”

He relaxed back into the pillow, “Why are you so cold?”

“Because of you and your blanket hogging,”

“Mmmsorry,” he threw an arm over you and pulled you into his chest, tucking your head under his chin.

“Seonghwa, what the fuck?” you objected but made no attempt to leave.

“You’re clearly freezing and I want to go back to sleep but you won’t let me until you get warm, two birds one stone,” his voice was so deep and filled with sleep, you could feel the vibrations through your entire body.

“Only cause I’m cold,”

“Mmhmm, whatever you say Y/n,”

…

The next time you open your eyes you’re met with the black fabric of Seonghwa’s t-shirt. Your bodies were intertwined, the smell of him completely engulfing you. As much as it pained you to admit, you wanted to stay like that for the rest of the day.

But your bladder had other ideas.

You gently wiggled out of his grasp and padded over to the bathroom, cursing yourself for not putting the heating on yet.

When you had finished your business, you wandered through the cabin to the mini kitchen space and turned on the heating. You contemplated making a cup of tea, but the lack of milk and sugar made it seem pointless, so you dejectedly crawled back into bed to try to warm up again.

You found yourself admiring Seonghwa’s sleeping figure. His unfairly clear skin was perfectly tanned, his lips were pushed into a squishy pout by the cheek he was sleeping on, his long lashes rested delicately on the tops of his cheeks. He was kind of beautiful.

“I thought I told you it was rude to stare,” his voice startled you and you jumped slightly, making him laugh in that obnoxiously dreamy morning voice.

“I wasn’t staring, my eyes are closed,”

You watched the corners of his lips curl up, “Sure. Did you turn on the heating?” he stretched out his body, releasing low groans as his joints cracked. He sounded far too sexual for your liking.

“Yep, should be warm enough for a shower tonight,”

He nodded in response, “Would you like to go get food?”

“I’m kind of nervous to run into Nathan again,”

“God, I can’t believe you dated him,”

“Yeah, I know okay? It was a big mistake,”

“Understatement of the century,” he scoffed.

You sat up in bed, and looked down at him, “You’ve been nice to me so far, why are you digging at me now?”

He sat up too, sighing, “I agreed to play nice for the wedding, just like _you_ wanted me to. I never agreed to forgiveness and friendship,”

You laughed incredulously, “You know what? Fine, be an ass,” you threw the blanket off of you and took your bag through to the bathroom.

“Oh, I’m the ass? That’s rich coming from you,” his voice was muffled by the door and you did your best to compose yourself.

You didn’t make eye contact on your way out, “We’re going to have to pretend we’re dating now, thanks to your big mouth,” He made no comment and walked in step with you.

You entered the main building together, seeing everyone lounging around, watching tv and playing board games. You hang up your coats and take off your wet shoes before going to join them.

“Angel,” your mum meets you in the middle of the room for a big hug, “I’ve missed you so much sweetie, have you lost weight you’re feeling bony?”

She pulled back and inspected you before her eyes wandered over your shoulder, “Park Seonghwa? Is that you?” she stopped fussing over you and went to go bother Seonghwa instead.

He broke out into his Prince Charming smile, “Yes, ma’am, it’s me,”

“Don’t give me that ma’am business, you’ve been avoiding our invitations for so long-“ you walked over to the kitchen, leaving him to get chewed out by your mother.

“Lou?” you called to your sister.

She closed the fridge, a huge smile on her face, “Y/n, oh my gosh,” she ran towards you and engulfed you in a tight hug, “I’ve missed you so much, you little annoyance,”

You squeezed her back just as tight, “I’ve missed you more, you old hag,” she ruffled your hair and went back to rummaging through the fridge, “Hongjoong send’s his best wishes by the way. He was too busy to come say it in person, I’ll bring his gift out tomorrow,”

She took eggs and milk out of the fridge, “Unacceptable, I’ll beat his ass next time I see him,”

“Good luck. He’s taken up kickboxing lately, he’s filling out, Lou, it’s scary,”

She motioned for you to pass her the bowl behind you, “Boys do that, unfortunately. I remember when you were still taller than him,”

“You mean when she was like five?” Seonghwa added from behind you.

Lou glanced up, a shocked smile on her face, “Well if it isn’t the third musketeer, you’re another one who grew like hell,”

He chuckled, “I think we all grew besides Y/n here,”

“If you guys have quite finished,” they laughed between themselves, “I’d like to play some Monopoly,”

You went to walk back into the lounge and sat by the big dining table, opening up the board game. Seonghwa joined you not long after, sitting a respectful distance from you, then the rest of your family crowded around the table. Before you could finish setting up the game the front door opened and in walked the Maddison’s.

Seonghwa moved closer to you as if sensing your immediate discomfort by Nathan’s presence. He whispered in your ear, “You’ll be fine I promise, just stay calm,”

You nodded and continued to set up the game

“Good Morning,” your mum called to Nathan, James and their parents, “care to join us for a game of Monopoly?”

James went to help Lou with food, the rest of his family opting to walk over to where you were all sat, “Yes, of course, we’d love to,” James’ mother responded, shooting you a warm smile, “Good morning dear. Oh, and you’re a new face,” she smiled at Seonghwa.

He extended his hand out to her, “I’m Seonghwa, Y/n’s boyfriend,” you didn’t miss the way your mother’s eyes bulged at his title, or the way your sister’s mouth dropped in the kitchen. You wished the two rooms weren’t open planned because they locked eyes at that moment and you desperately wanted the ground to swallow you up.

He shook both parent’s hands, “Well it’s lovely to meet you, I’m Diane and this is my husband, Jack,”

“Nice to meet you, young man,” you couldn’t help but notice how sour Nathan looked at his parent’s friendly actions. He silently sat next to your mum, diagonally opposite you.

You quickly handed them their piles of money, “Let’s start the game, shall we?”

…

After a much too long game of Monopoly, which involved a lot of competitivity from all parties and some heated debates, you cleared up everything and had brunch.

“Do you want me to grab you some more juice, love?” you almost choked on your food at Seonghwa’s term of endearment for you.

“Yes please, oh make sure it’s-“

“Apple, I know don’t worry,” he kissed the top of your head before pushing his chair back, you watched your mum and your sister’s faces light up, “Would anyone like anything from the kitchen?”

“Could you be a dear and bring back a jug of cold water?” Diane asked.

“Of course, be right back,”

Your mum cleared her throat, “Looks like we need a couple more logs for the fire. Lou, Y/n, could you go grab some please?” you knew she was only asking you both so Lou could snoop of her and report back the information she found.

“Yeah, sure mum,”

You barely made it out the front door before she pounced, “BOYFRIEND?”

You couldn’t help the corners of your mouth perk up at her reaction, “Not quite, more like a fake boyfriend. He’s only doing it to keep Nathan off my back, who’s back to being a sleazy prick,”

“God, what did he do?”

“Grabbed me, asked me out and wants to rekindle whatever bullshit we had going on. I don’t think he realises how gross that would be since you and James are getting married,”

You both made disgusted faces, “Yeah, that’s not happening thank you very much,”

You reached the woodshed and pried open the heavy door, “Seonghwa scared him off of me last night, the boyfriend thing was a smart move to get him to back off,”

Your sister glanced at you while grabbing two logs, “What does that look mean?”

She shrugged, “No funny business in that cabin okay?”

“Lou, it’s all pretend, nothing’s going to happen,”

“That’s what they say in every rom-com, then they end up together,”

You took the logs from her, “You’re being ridiculous, he still hates me, he’s just pretending to be nice,”

“Y/n, you don’t seriously believe he still hates you, come on,”

You dryly laughed, “We argued this morning. We argue all the time, Lou. And the worst part is I don’t even remember what I did,” you climbed up the stairs together.

“Just ask him, you’re both adults now,”

You both walked back inside holding firewood. Without even being prompted Seonghwa came over to you, “I’ll take this, you go take off your coat,” he took the wood and went to go stack it in the corner.

“Take notes, James,” Lou teased her fiancé who was still sat eating his food, making everyone laugh while he scrambled over to help her.

“Not all of us can be like Prince Charming over here,” you kicked off your shoes, looking over at a smiling Seonghwa, he was enjoying this way too much.

The rest of the day went by without a hitch. You and Seonghwa acted like the perfect Disney couple, Nathan was pissed off beyond belief and the rest of your family were none the wiser.

“I’m starting to get tired; I think we should turn in for the night,” you spoke softly to Seonghwa, not wanting to disturb everyone who was watching the movie.

He took your hand in his, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, “Of course let’s go,”

You let him lead the way to the front door, “Oh, Y/n?” your mum called to you, “Look up for a second,”

You glanced up and felt your blood run cold.

Mistletoe.

“Mum, you’re kidding me. No one hangs up mistletoe anymore,”

“It’s tradition sweetie,”

“Well,” Seonghwa turned to face you, his thumb stroking your cheek, “if it’s tradition then I guess we should uphold it,”

He leaned down slowly, your free hand rested on his chest, his face was illuminated by the warm glow of the fire’s ambient light. He looked breath-taking.

His lips were so soft, molding perfectly against yours. It was meant to be one quick kiss, but you couldn’t help but lean into it, getting lost in the feeling for just a second. Then James began wolf whistling, breaking you out of your tiny perfect bubble, you looked at your sister who raised her eyebrows at you in a ‘just friends huh?’ way.

Seonghwa cleared his throat, “Good night everyone,”

You bolted out the door before you could register anyone’s responses.

Neither of you spoke the entire way back to the cabin. You couldn’t form a coherent thought that didn’t involve your kiss, and that’s the last thing you wanted to bring up to Seonghwa. You entered the cabin and headed straight for the bedroom, grateful for the warmth of the central heating.

He was already washing up in the bathroom, so you decided to be the bigger person, “Do you want to shower first?”

“No,” his voice was cold. His back was turned to you and it looked tense through his shirt.

You sighed and picked up your wash bag, “So we’re back to this?”

“We’re back to normal, yes,” he turned around, “is that an issue?” he walked out and over to his towel on the bed.

You didn’t bother answering him. You turned and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind you. You pulled out your phone and texted Hongjoong.

_‘I’m going to kill him Joong’_

_‘This was a mistake’_   
_11:38 pm_

You felt tears pricking in your eyes, which frustrated you even more. He didn’t deserve to make you feel so happy all day only to turn around and be an ass.

Except he did.

And you knew that. You were the one who asked him to come, to pretend to be your date, to pretend he didn’t hate you. This was all your doing, he was just playing the part.

_‘what’s happened???’_

_‘y/n????’_

_‘hwaseong says you’ve stormed into the bathroom’_

_11:40pm_

You laughed dryly, “Oh, so I’ve ‘stormed off’ now?” you shouted at the door.

“You stomped off, slammed a door and now you’re crying to Hongjoong, sounds like you stormed off to me,” you hated how calm and indifferent his voice sounded.

You turned on the shower, so it could warm up, “You’re so fucking infuriating, you know that right?”

“I love you too sweetie,” his sickly-sweet voice was purposefully pushing your buttons.

You turned on some music and jumped into the hot shower, planning to relax your overly tense muscles. The water was hot, quickly steaming up the previously translucent shower curtain and filled the room with a comforting fog. You tuned out everything but the song playing, cursing the irony of _talk is overrated_ choosing to play first.

You thought about just asking him, after all, it had been bugging you for years and it would be nice to know what caused him to hold such a grudge. But it was also the holidays, and more importantly, your sister’s wedding week. The last thing you needed was to ruin either of those things with opening your selfish mouth.

You relaxed, letting the water cascade down your back, massaging your neck and shoulders as best as you could, trying to forget about the whole situation.

“Hey can-“ you cut him off with a scream.

“GET OUT, oh my god what are you doing in here?” you tried covering yourself as much as you could, turning yourself away from him.

“Relax, jeez. I can’t see anything, you’re just a fuzzy skin coloured blob, can I borrow your spot cream I left mine at home?”

“Yes, whatever just get out of here,” your entire body felt like it was blushing.

He took his sweet time rummaging through your wash bag, “You make it seem like I’ve never seen you naked before, we grew up together remember?”

“That’s when I was like five and none of us had a concept of puberty or how our bodies were different,” he softly laughed, as if this situation wasn’t entirely weird.

“Your mum had to beg you to wear swimming trunks around us, she gave up on your top half very quickly,”

“As much as I love reminiscing, Seonghwa, I would like to shower in peace,”

You watched his fuzzy form pick up a tube which you recognised was your spot cream, “I’m not stopping you, be my guest,”

You took a deep breath, “I’m going you take this shower head and soak you if you don’t leave this bathroom in the next ten seconds,”

“I think you’ve got it mixed up baby, I’m the one who makes you wet, not the other way around,”

He darted out of the bathroom before you had a chance to keep your word, his laughter muffled by the door. You went back to showering, completely and utterly speechless by his mood swings.

When you exited the room he was sound asleep, soft snores escaping his mouth. You placed his phone on charge for him and climbed under the covers.

…

The families had decided to all head into town for the day. Jack and Diane had assured you that the small mom and pops shops would still be open in case anyone needed to do some last-minute shopping.

James drove, Lou controlled the aux cord and you and Seonghwa were the happy passengers. The drive was bumpy but filled with laughter and singing. Lou made sure to throw on her _‘basic white girl’_ playlist, and no one can resist singing along to _High School Musical,_ not even Seonghwa.

The two of you recorded each other and sent the videos to your group chat with the boys, prompting all of them to break out into song in response. Wooyoung and Sang’s rendition of _I Don’t Dance_ ended up winning your impromptu singing competition.

“We’re going to pick up some decorations for the table tomorrow, you guys can join us if you want?” she closed her door and walked over to you on the curb.

You shook your head, “No thanks Lou, I think I want to drop by Joe’s,” Seonghwa looked at you questioningly, “You’ll love it trust me. Meet back at 5 pm right?”

“Yeah, we’ll call you,”

You split up and started walking towards your favourite diner. The building looked straight out of the fifties, but you knew the family were constantly renovating it and that the aesthetic was by choice rather than age.

“We had breakfast like an hour ago, there’s no way you’re hungry again,”

You shook your head and laughed lightly, “We’re not here for food, you dingus,” you pushed open the doors and smiled at the young waitress behind the counter.

She gave you a warm smile back before unashamedly checking Seonghwa out, “Can I get you anything today?” she kept glancing at him while she spoke.

You felt a small twinge of annoyance but swallowed it, “Nothing for the moment, but can I cash in this ten for some change please?” you handed over the note and waited for her to break it for you.

“You folks in town for a while?”

“Yeah for a week, my sister is having her wedding down at the Maddison’s place,”

She smiled, “Wow a winter wedding, how lovely. What brings you into town?” she handed you your change, still ogling Seonghwa.

“Showing the boyfriend around,” You didn’t hold any malice in your tone, she was clearly a lovely girl and you knew she didn’t mean any harm, “he’s never been up here before and I haven’t been to the arcade in years,” you enjoyed the satisfaction you got from her face reddening when you called Seonghwa your boyfriend.

“Well you two have fun, let me know if you need anything,” she scurried away, and you led him through the double doors at the back of the diner.

“God, she looked like she was going to eat me,” he spoke quietly in a panicked voice, making you giggle.

“I guess we’re even now,” you made your way over to the DDR machine.

You both took off your coats, “Oh, we’re having a dance battle now huh?”

You jumped on the machine and put in the coins, “Hell yeah pretty boy, prepare to get your ass handed to you,”

“Oh, it’s on like Donkey Kong,”

Several hours, machines, and trips to the cashier later you were both exhausted. You sat in a booth while Seonghwa bought you a milkshake, “Strawberry, for the DDR Queen,” he jokingly bowed as he placed it down.

“And Mint Choc chip for the claw machine champion,” you gestured to the four plushies that sat next to you on your bench, “I have no idea how you can do that,”

He started smiling smugly, cracking his knuckles, “Some might say it’s a pointless talent, but I’d rather have the intense skill and concentration needed to win a stuffed bear than learn how to kick a ball well,”

You took a selfie with him, the milkshakes and the plushies, sending it to the boys with the caption _‘Seasons Greetings, I kicked his ass at DDR’_ and the chat began roasting him. The two of you laughed and joked as if you really were friends, but you stayed on your toes, knowing it wouldn’t last.

“Look, I only lost four times,” his ears were pink from everyone’s teasing.

You paused and looked up at him, “Yeah…out of four. You’ve got two left feet Seonghwa, just accept it,” you bickered with him jokingly.

“Never,” he slipped on his jacket, noticing you were done with your drink, “Ready to go?”

You saw it was coming up to 5 anyways, “Yeah let’s start walking back to the car,”

He grabbed the plushies and started walking towards the door, you stopped at the cashier and placed the remainder of your change in the jar, “Happy Holidays,” you called to the waitress. She smiled and said the same back. You walked over to the door Seonghwa held open for you and thanked him before leading the way back.

He broke the silence first, “Today was nice. Thank you for this,”

you kept your eyes on the snowy ground, “No problem,”

“And I’m sorry for being an ass last night,” you looked up at him, his eyebrows were drawn together, “I’m just not used to being around you for so long, the whole situation is difficult,”

“Hey, it’s fine, we’ll go back to being mortal enemies the second we’re home,” you playfully bumped shoulders with him.

He smiled, “I can’t wait.”

...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- warnings: violence, manhandling, non-consensual touching/groping 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- a/n: hello lovelies! I can’t believe you guys are enjoying this fic so much!! honestly it warms my heart (and makes me anxious cause expectations) chapter three is here for you and it's sickeningly sweet with a hint of relationship building, but don’t worry the fluff won’t last forever :)))
> 
> for anyone wondering, sunday is update day and it looks like there will be 2-3 more chapters!!
> 
> ((and not that anyone asked but I think this Seonghwa would smell like Outback Mate from Lush, like lemony, some peppermint, a dash of eucalyptus, that kind of smell))

...

You woke up to the sound of soft singing. The room was warm and smelled fresh and earthy. You sat up slowly, rubbing your eyes and glancing around the room.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Seonghwa’s voice calls from the open bathroom, you could see him shaving in the mirror.

“Mornin’, Merry Christmas,” you reached over to the bedside table and grabbed your phone, responding to messages and sending Christmas wishes to your friends and family.

“Oh yeah that reminds me, your gift is in my bag, can you grab it please?”

“You got me a gift?” you slid out of bed and walked over to the bag, pulling out a small rectangular box wrapped in brown paper and tied with string.

He walked out of the bathroom, “Well yeah, of course, I didn’t want to look like a bad plus one,”

You laughed nervously, “I didn’t get you a present,”

He rummaged in his bag, the smell of his cologne becoming more apparent as he got painfully close to you, “Really? ‘Cause this watch I definitely didn’t buy for myself looks like a present to me,” he pulled out a small box wrapped in black and gold wrapping paper and handed it to you.

“You really think of everything huh?” he smirked, pulling on a fuzzy Christmas jumper.

“I’m amazing, I know. Now go get ready,”

...

“Merry Christmas you two!” your mum called from the kitchen when you walked into the main building.

“Merry Christmas,” you both called back, greeting everyone as you walked towards the kitchen, dragging Seonghwa with you, “you need any help?”

The kitchen was overflowing with food preparations, the room smelt so amazing already. Diane, Jack and Lou orchestrated the entire food operation.

Lou waved you over, “I’ve got a bunch of veggies to prep if you two want to help,” she handed over the other peeler to Seonghwa and you stood on the other side of him, chopping the vegetables he handed you, falling into a rhythm.

The three of you caught up on life, university and spoke about the wedding. It warmed you to see Seonghwa finally get a chance to speak to your family, you couldn’t help the guilty feeling that settled in your stomach.

The two of you swapped around the kitchen, helping chop, stir and stuff various dishes. You were currently crushing and adding spices to a big batch of mulled wine.

“Y/n? can you go grab more firewood for us please?” your mum called from the lounge, you sighed and dusted off your hands.

“Hey, it’s fine, I’ll grab it,”

You shook your head, “No it’s fine, she’s only asking me to do it because she’s too awkward to ask anyone else. Watch the mulled wine for me, don’t let it boil over,”

A look of panic washed over him and you laughed, “I’ll be back in less than two minutes, you’ll be fine,”

You grabbed your coat and began the trudge to the shed. You pushed open the door, it proved to be a lot more difficult than last time due to an increase in snow, “Need a hand?”

You jumped, knocking your head on a log, “Ouch, what the fuck? Why are you out here Nathan?” you held your forehead, checking for any blood.

“I saw you come out here by yourself, I didn’t think you should be carrying such heavy logs all by yourself,” he came closer, leaning on the shed door.

You grabbed more logs, “I think I’m doing perfectly fine so far, but thanks for the patronisation,”

He stepped closer, “Shouldn’t your _boyfriend_ be out here helping you?”

“I’m not a damsel in distress, besides he’s busy in the kitchen,” you struggled to close the door with only one hand, he just sadistically watched as you struggled.

“I guess we know who wears the pants in your _fake_ relationship,”

You froze and turned to look at him, “What did you just say?”

He laughed lowly, the sound unnerved you, “You really should be more observant of your surroundings when you go divulging such secrets,” his eyes had a glint to them that made your stomach turn.

“I think you must have misheard me,” you abandoned the shed door and made a move to walk past him.

“No, I don’t think I did,” you were pushed into the side of the cabin, hitting your head on the wall, the logs falling onto the ground, “I knew you wouldn’t choose that greaser over me,”

His hands reached for the zip of your coat, “Fuck off Nathan,” you shoved him, trying your best to thrash out of his grasp. He pinned your hands above your head with one hand. He was too close to kick in the nuts but angled far enough away that you couldn’t headbutt him. Your only option was to scream and alert everyone else. But it was Christmas, and as dumb as that sounded you didn’t want to ruin everyone’s day. That would be your last resort.

He chuckled, “I know you still want me Y/n, stop trying to fight it already,” he spoke close to your ear, you screwed your eyes shut and moved as far away as possible from his voice.

You started to shake, tears welling in your eyes, “Please let me go, Nathan. Just let me go back inside,”

“I don’t think I will, it’s been a while since I last had you in this position,” his free hand traced up and down your body.

You could feel the panic attack settling in. Your breath became shorter, your throat felt tight. You screwed your eyes shut, praying he would find a sense of humility and stop.

“Get the FUCK off of her,” Nathan was ripped off of you and pulled backwards, landing on the ground and fallen logs.

You curled into Seonghwa’s chest, “Did he hurt you, Y/n?” his voice sounded panicked, completely filled with worry as he gently rubbed your back.

You shook your head, words feeling impossible in that moment, “Okay, stay here baby,” he moved you out of the way, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Nathan sat up groaning, “You can drop your pathetic act. I know she’s not yours, so I’m taking back what’s rightfully mine,” his eyes raked your body.

Seonghwa stepped in-between you two, “Firstly, she’s not your fucking property, nor is she mine, she doesn’t ‘belong’ to anyone. Maybe if you learned how to respect women you wouldn’t have them on the verge of a panic attack every time you opened your disgusting mouth,” Nathan went to interrupt but Seonghwa kicked him in the stomach causing him to double over and groan.

Seonghwa looked completely unphased, “Secondly, you lost the privilege to even _look_ at her a long time ago. So, if you dare lay another finger on her I _will_ make you regret it,”

Nathan stood up, still clutching his stomach, “Oh yeah? And how will you-“

You didn’t even see the punch connect, all you heard was the impact before the blood started gushing out of his nose.

“You fucking broke my nose, you psychopath,” Nathan lunged at Seonghwa, his rage blinding him for a split second, causing him to not look where he was going. Before he knew it, he had stepped on one of the fallen logs, the snow covering it made it slippery and he lost his footing. Seonghwa stepped out of the way, letting him fall to the ground beside you.

He motioned you to his side, not taking his eyes of Nathan, “Be a doll and bring the firewood in once you’re all cleaned up, will you?”

You walked around the building, away from the cursing degenerate and towards the back entrance to the kitchen. Seonghwa stopped you from going inside, gently turning you to look at him, “I’ll kill him if he touches you again, okay?” he wiped away tears you didn’t realise were falling, “I hate seeing you like this Y/n, you deserve better,”

“I wanna go home, Hwa,” you balled your fists into his jumper and cried freely, “I-I can’t keep seeing him ev-everywhere,”

He rubbed your back and shushed you, “There’s only a couple days until the wedding, if you want to leave straight after that then we will, I’ll drive through the night if I have to. But I know you’ll regret not seeing Lou’s wedding, so I need you to hang in there for me okay?”

You knew he was right, you just needed to last a couple more days. You nodded and pulled back, he immediately wiped away your tears, “Did I mess up my makeup?”

He gasped dramatically, “You were wearing make up? I couldn’t even tell,” you rolled your eyes at him, “No, you still look as beautiful as always, that waterproof mascara was worth it,”

You couldn’t help the way your cheeks warmed at his words, “Let’s go finish helping Lou,”

You walked into the back entrance, still a little shaky, “What took so long- oh my god, Y/n what happened?” your sister came over and started fussing over you.

“Your disgusting excuse of a brother-in-law had his hands all over her,”

Lou’s face looked furious and you grabbed her before she could storm out and find him, “Lou, don’t bother. Seonghwa knocked him for six, let’s just finish up in here,”

She shook her head, “No, no, no, you two are done in the kitchen, James!” she called through to the lounge.

The man in question came jogging in, “What’s up?”

“Go grab some firewood please, then come and help me finish making lunch,” James nodded and headed out immediately, “You guys come with me,”

You followed her through to the lounge, “I think we’ve all waited long enough to open our Christmas presents,” the families both perked up at this and all agreed.

The three of you brought the presents over to the fireplace where everyone was sat. Lou dusted glitter off of her hands, “Everyone get a head start on opening them, I’ll just finish up the eggnog for us,”

Everyone dug into the pile of presents, “This one is from myself and your father,” your mum handed you a medium sized box covered in white snowflake wrapping paper.

You carefully opened it, much to everyone’s annoyance, to reveal new sets of oil paints, acrylics, paint brushes and a nice sketchbook, “Your father accidentally ran over your art box in the garage so we replaced everything that got damaged, plus some extras as an apology,”

You smiled, laughing softly, “Thank you so much, and dad you seriously need to get your eyes tested,” you gave them both a hug, that childhood excitement of wanting to play with your presents filling up inside you.

“And this one is for Seonghwa,” he perked up at your mum’s words.

“For me?” he cautiously took the bag from her.

“Well yes of course, we popped out yesterday and got you something, we weren’t going to let you go without presents,” they smiled warmly at him and he started thanking them profusely, “Well go ahead, open it up,”

He pulled out the tissue paper, revealing a knitted sweater, a bottle of whiskey and a picture frame. Your cheeks heated up at the two pictures inside, “Lou digitalised all your childhood pictures, so it wasn’t hard to find that one, and she’s also quick with her camera. The whole thing was her idea really, she printed them and everything,”

You watched him run his fingers over the hand carved frame, admiring a picture of you and him as kids; him giving you a piggyback ride and you smiling so hard you couldn’t see your eyes. Next to that was a picture of your mistletoe kiss from the other night, perfectly illuminated by the roaring fire. You glanced up to see Lou smiling at you like an idiot.

“I… thank you so much, this- this is amazing,” his voice was thick with emotion, he was at a loss for words.

Your parents smiled at him before continuing their conversation with Jack and Diane.

You handed him his present, “I bet you’ll never guess what it is,” he carefully put the picture back in the bag, smiling and taking the box from you.

“Is it a puppy?” he handed you his present and you both opened them.

Your breath hitched in your throat when you opened the box. A delicate silver chain with a small, flat silver tag and a red resin Jelly Tot. The one side of the tag read ‘jelly tot x’ the other was still blank.

Seonghwa picked it up out of the box, “I commissioned it from this small Etsy store,” he brought it around your neck, “I told them the story about your nickname and they brought the order forward to a priority so it would arrive in time,” he clasped it, gently pressing a kiss into the crook of your neck, “I wasn’t sure if you remembered the nickname or not, so it was a dumb risk really,”

You played with the pendant, turning around to look at him, “I love it so much. This is the most thoughtful gift anyone’s ever gotten me,” your eyes flickered down to his lips, his hand came up to your cheek and he gently brought you towards him, as if he read your mind.

You had butterflies in your stomach that erupted into a flurry of emotion upon contact with his plush lips. This kiss was so different from the last one. It was filled with an indescribable feeling of safety, comfort, familiarity and _home._ Kissing him felt right, and that scared you.

You pulled back, looking into his deep brown eyes, “Thank you so much, Seonghwa,”

“No problem,” he flashed you a warm, soft smile, “here, let’s take a picture to send to Hongjoong before he thinks I’ve murdered you,”

He took out his phone and snapped a picture of the two of you and sent it to the remaining member of your trio.

. . .

The rest of your day was filled with a little too much eggnog, an amazing Christmas dinner, and more Christmas movies than you wish to remember. Nathan kept quiet when he finally decided to show his face. When his parents questioned him about the bruising, he claimed he tripped and hit his face on a log. You couldn’t care less about him, but you were grateful that he didn’t cause any more of a scene.

You and Seonghwa left the celebrations late into the night, he kept you close while you walked through the softly falling snow. You entered the cabin, enjoying the warmth you were met with.

You were both very giggly while stumbling around the cabin, “I owe you a really good present now,”

He chuckled, closing the bedroom door behind him, “I don’t want anything it’s fine,”

“Seonghwa, this was too thoughtful I have to get you something in return,” You searched through your bag for pyjamas.

You felt his arms circle around your waist, his head nuzzling into your neck making you giggle, “You can get meeeee, a new car,” 

You picked up your washbag and your clothes, turning around in his arms, “I’ll need to acquire a couple Sugardaddies first then we can look into a new car for you,”

His hands subtly rubbed your back, “I’m not sure I like the idea of sharing you with gross old men,”

“Sharing huh? That suggests that I’m yours,” you playfully teased.

“Well, as your unfathomably amazing and devilishly handsome boyfriend- ” you giggled at his melodrama, stopping when his thumb grazed your cheek. You looked up into his eyes and they held so much warmth and indiscernible emotion that it took your breath away, “I would hope you would be mine,”

His cheeks were flushed pink all the way to the tips of his ears. He looked so boyish and sweet, just like when you were teenagers and he would walk you home after parties, both of you giggling and dancing through the streets. You leaned up and gently pressed your lips against his, feeling his hands pull you closer to him despite your arms being full between you. The kiss wasn’t rushed and hungry nor was it sweet and chaste, but rather it was filled with passion, more questions than answers, and it made your head spin more than the mulled wine ever could.

…

The day had been jam packed with wedding preparations. You had been put in charge of the reception venue; a building that had once been the camp’s dining hall which had now been renovated and used to house events. Now you needed to transform the exposed beams and blank walls into something fit for a wedding.

You flicked through the wedding planning binder your sister had entrusted you with, glancing around the room and trying to match up her vision to the room, “Hey,” James walked in with a huge box, “this is the last one, where should I put it?”

You walked over to him and peered into the box, seeing tabletop decorations, “Over in the corner with the others for now please,”

“Yep of course,” he walked over to where you pointed.

“Could you grab someone and drag in the old picnic benches for me?”

He looked confused, “Those benches are gross and sun bleached, are you sure?”

You gestured over to the cans of wood stain which matched the floors and beams and a power sander, “I’ve got this, trust me,”

He shook his head and laughed, “You’re just like your sister,” he jogged back outside.

You started gearing up; grabbing gloves, a respirator and goggles. When you had found an adequate power outlet the double doors opened again, Nathan and James walking in with a table between them, “Where’s this going?” you tensed at Nathan’s voice.

“Over by the bar on east wall. Line four of them up length wards then do three more rows alongside it,” they started waddling with the table where you pointed, “We’re bringing in an long table for the north of the room to go in front of the fireplace for the bride and groom and their parties to sit on; the setup is basically just the great hall in Hogwarts,”

James walked over, looking at your sketch of the room and set up, “This is gorgeous, Y/n, Lou is going to love it,” he ruffled your hair, “We’ll bring all the tables in now and then help you revamp them,”

Three hours later all the tables were smooth and the stain was soaking into them. You had lit the fire at the back of the room to help them dry quicker, warming up the freezing cold building in the process. Nathan had stocked and cleaned down the bar while James hung up all the wall and ceiling decorations.

You were now nailing the fairy lights to the exposed beams, James stood beneath you to keep the ladder stable and feed you more lights, “Lou told me about my brother’s gross behaviour, and I can’t apologise enough,” you started to tell him it was fine but he shook his head, “I won’t let him do anything like that again, I promise,”

You smiled at him, feeling tears pricking in your eyes, “Thank you, James,”

“This room is looking really gorgeous. When the idiot comes back, we’ll be able to dress all the tables and put the finishing touches on the whole room,”

You finished nailing in the fairy lights for that beam and started climbing down the ladder, “I’ll sweep the floor once we’re done because it looks super gross,”

You moved everything onto the next beam, “That Seonghwa guy, he seems really good,”

“James, oh my God, we’re not talking about boys,”

He started laughing, “I just mean, he’s good for you, keep him around,”

You felt your cheeks warm, “I’ll do my best,”

You heard your sister calling you, interrupting the surprisingly sweet moment, “You better get going, I’ll grab someone to help me finish up here,” you thanked him and headed towards the door.

“There you are! Go get ready, we’re leaving in an hour,”

“Where’re we going?”

She lifted her head up from her phone, “All I know is we’re having dinner and getting wasted, Rachel has planned everything for me. Wear something pretty,”

You headed back to the cabin, finding it empty when you arrived. Assuming Seonghwa was still out helping shovel snow you treated the room like it was just yours. You blasted music, walked around in your underwear and tried on all your available outfits. It was nice to have some selfcare time just to yourself, it felt very overdue.

You finished getting ready in no time. You picked up your phone to put into your purse, turning off the music at the same time the front door shut, “Seonghwa?”

“Yeah what’s up- oh,” he took in your appearance, mouth agape. Your tight dress was far from your normal attire, but this was a special occasion after all.

“Does it not look good?” you asked teasingly, turning slowly for him.

The tips of his ears turned pink, “You look good, like really good, great even,”

You laughed and walked by him, grabbing a jacket on the way out, “Don’t wait up for me,”

…

After a lovely dinner which consisted of lots of wine, gossip, and questionable relationship advice, you were whisked into a cab that took you to a karaoke bar.

“We have the whole place booked out girls,” Rachel spoke to the thirty or so ladies in attendance, “First round of shots is on me,” everyone broke out into cheers and headed towards the bar.

You, Lou and two of her friends secured a table right by the karaoke machine, drinks in hands and a tray of shots on the way.

“You’re up first, Becca,” Lou pushed one of the girls towards the karaoke machine. She giggled and began choosing her song.

Lou turned to you, noticing you smiling at your phone, “What’s so amusing?”

You took a sip of your drink, “Seonghwa sent me this video of a puppy, isn’t it adorable?” you turned the screen to her, but she didn’t seem overly fussed by the video.

“You and Seonghwa are getting close again aren’t you?”

You took a much longer sip of your drink trying to postpone the conversation, “Wait is he the tall, dreamy blonde guy I saw when I picked you up?” Rachel questioned.

You nodded, “That would be Seonghwa,”

“And you’re not dating this guy?”

You shook your head, “We were pretending to date to keep my ex off my back, which he found out about anyways so now it’s just a case of holding up the act for everyone else,”

Lou scoffed, “You don’t really think it’s acting anymore do you Y/n?” when you shrugged she laughed exasperatedly, “The boy looked like he wanted to murder Nathan after he touched you. And the gift he got you,” she pointed to your necklace, “That’s not something you get someone you don’t feel anything for,”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean he wants to date me, you’re forgetting he’s been mean to me for the pas-“

Lou cut you off, “That means nothing Y/n, boys are dumb. They tug on our pigtails in the playground because they think it’ll get our attention. They have this backwards machismo complex ingrained in them,”

Rachel nodded along with her words, “When I saw him earlier, he was talking about you with James, he had that look on his face, you know? That beaming smile, Disney prince type look,”

Lou gestured wildly, “See! That was just a snippet of a conversation she saw and she doesn’t even know the guy,” you knew she had a point, but it was hard to admit that maybe, just maybe they were right.

“You think he likes me? Like for real?”

Lou smiled softly, placing a hand on yours, “I watched you grow up together, that boy has liked you ever since he knew what the feeling was, maybe even before then. You were both just too dumb to act on it,”

The bartender brought over your tray of shots and you all thanked him, “What is that supposed to mean?”

Your phone screen lit up, and you quickly checked what he sent.

_‘you should sing a cringey love song and dedicate_

_it to your lovely, amazing, incredible boyfriend’_

_9:12pm_

Followed by a series of gifs that made you laugh, your chest warming far more than it should.

“That,” she pointed between your phone and your smile, “Exactly that. You’ve always liked each other,”

You sighed, “I think you might be right… Well, only one thing to do,” you downed one of the shots, “Repress it.”

. . .

You stumbled back into the cabin, “Seonghwaaaa, I’m hoooome,”

Seonghwa stepped around the corner wearing a well-fitting t-shirt and boxers, “Oh. You look good,”

He chuckled and walked over to you, kneeling down to take your shoes off for you, “And you’re clearly drunk,”

“Mmmnot, just happy,” you started playing with his hair as he helped you, “You’re so fluffy,”

“That I am, come on you,” he took your hand and walked you into the bathroom, “sit down for me,”

He motioned to the closed toilet while leaving the room, “But I don’t need to pee,”

He came back in with your wash bag, “That’s good to know, but I still need you to sit down,”

“Rachel called a stripper for Lou, all the girl’s thought he was yummy,”

He wet your face cloth, applying your face wash to it. He squatted down in front of you and started gently washing off your makeup, “Did they now, and what did you think?”

“Too muscly, I don’t like scary muscle men,”

He laughed, “What about that Wonho guy you dated? He was huge,”

You poked his stomach sharply, “We were co-workers, not dating, and he was a sweetheart,”

“Whatever you say, Princess. Close your eyes,” you did as he said, feeling him peel off your fake lashes before lightly washing off your eye makeup. You spent your time playing with the hem of his t-shirt and humming.

“Rinse your face for me,” you got up and splashed water on your face, letting him dry it off for you.

You opened your eyes and took in his relaxed choice of nightwear, what he was doing for you, the fact that he stayed awake. The whole situation was so domestic, and it made your heart ache.

“Why are you frowning?” he playfully tugged on your pouting bottom lip.

“Because you hate me,”

He took out your spot cream, applying it on your trouble areas, “I don’t hate you, that’s a very strong word,”

“Nana used to say there’s a fine line between love and hate,” you looked up at him with big doe eyes, “But you’re always so mean to me,”

He smiled softly, “Well, I _definitely_ don’t hate you, just because we don’t get along anymore doesn’t mean I don’t care about you,” he sounded like he was carefully choosing his words.

You scrunched your nose as he dotted it with your face cream, “When why are you always so mean to me if you care about me?”

He sighed, “Because you deserve it, now brush your teeth for me. I’m going to get you some water,”

When you finished brushing your teeth you walked back into the room. He was sat on the bed with a stack of clothing next to him, “Come over here,” you walked between his legs, his hands resting on your hips as he slowly rose up, “now turn around,” you did as he asked again.

You felt his fingers trace up your spine, making you shiver. He dragged down the zip of your dress, placing soft kisses on your shoulders as he gently pushed it off your body, allowing it to pool at your feet.

“Arms up for me,” he pulled one of his oversized t-shirts onto you. You played with the hem of it, it was like a dress on you. You felt his hands run up your sides under the fabric, cautiously undoing your bra, “I’m not going to touch you, don’t worry, you can finish taking it off, ” he removed his hands, placing them on your clothed hips while you slipped off the bra straps, letting it fall to the floor as well.

You turned around in his arms, “You’re good at this, do you do it for all your girls?”

He smiled, “I’ve had to do this for your drunk ass more times than I care to remember, Jelly Tot,”

“So, I’m good practice?”

He shook his head, laughing softly, “You really overestimate my dating life,” he switched off the bathroom and main room lights, “there’s been three girls, and I never loved them, so I never felt the need to take care of them like this,”

You had grown too tired to catch the meaning behind his words. You yawned while climbing into bed, “Well, Mars bars, you’re going to make a girl very happy one day,”

He climbed in next to you, “Wow, you haven’t called me that in years,” you put your head on his chest and closed your eyes, feeling him tracing patterns into your back, “You used to have the cutest stutter, and that tiny lisp too, oh my gosh, you couldn’t pronounce any ‘s’ sounds,” you could hear the smile in his voice.

Your cheeks started to heat up, “Shut it,” you smacked his chest playfully, “well, now that I can actually pronounce your name, I don’t need to use it,”

“Maybe you should, it’s cute,”

You snuggled into his side further, “Shut uuup,” you yawned, rubbing your tired eyes.

He chuckled lowly, “Shh, get some rest now baby,” you barely registered him kissing your head as you fell asleep.

...


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- a/n: hello lovelies! i apologise for this being delayed, i went camping and stupidly forgot to save this chapter into my drafts before i left:(( i hope this lives up to the extra wait and answers some lingering questions some of you might have. feedback is always welcomed, love you all!!

Your entire body felt like death warmed up on a hot day. There was an insistent banging in your head that you soon realised was your own overly loud heartbeat. Your mouth felt like it hadn’t seen water for five years.

You groaned and rolled over. Upon noticing how cold the bed was you peeled open your eyes. The room was completely empty. Not even a trace of life beyond yourself. You sat up slowly, reaching for the bottle of water on the side table when you noticed your sleepwear.

Then the groggy memories started to trickle in.

Lou and the wedding had taken up so much of your focus that you hadn’t had a chance alone with your thoughts to process whatever was happening with Seonghwa. You had gone from constantly bickering and spewing rude remarks at each other to reminiscing about your childhoods and… kissing?

But this wasn’t just kissing, because that would be strange but tolerable by itself, no it was far more than that. It was kissing behind closed doors, it was holding each other while you slept, it was that feeling that was starting to resurface. The uncertainty of having a crush on someone you shouldn’t, someone too close to hurt, someone who’s always been there.

Your mind flashed back to the countless times Seonghwa had been there with open arms whenever Nathan hurt you, regardless of how many times you pushed him away. Even when Nathan called him every name under the sun and you just stood there and let him, completely blinded by the illusion of a perfect boyfriend.

Somehow Seonghwa stayed through it all. You could feel yourself drawing closer to some kind of revelation as to what went sour between the two of you. Maybe a party? Or a big argument? Something threw off the balance of your relationship for the final time, that was the cause of all this.

You reached over to your bedside table for your phone, only to be met with a croissant? You blinked open your eyes and registered a tray full of pastries, chopped fruits and a glass of apple juice. In the middle of it all was your phone, on top of it rested a small handwritten note.

_‘Your family teased me so much for doing this, you owe me big time – mars bars x’_

That feeling returned in your stomach, the gnawing feeling that wanted to completely consume you, the one that told you maybe. Maybe things really were changing between you. Maybe he wanted things to go back to the way they used to be. Maybe, just maybe, he wanted something different this time.

You grabbed your phone, flinching at the ungodly brightness, and texted him.

_‘Where are you??’_

_9:32 am_

Next, you quickly opened Hongjoong’s chat and called him without prompt. You waited in the dimly lit room for him to answer. While the phone rang you could feel your stomach churning with uncertainty if anyone would be able to help it would be Hongjoong.

 _“Hey, sweetpea, what’s up?”_ His voice broke through the ringing.

“Joong, I’ve royally fucked up,”

He chuckled softly, _“Who did you kill?”_

“No, no, not a funny situation Joong,” you heard him shuffle around on the other side of the line, “I kissed Seonghwa,”

_“WHAT?”_

You flinched away from the phone, “Inside voice, I had a lot to drink last night,”

He spluttered, _“Clearly, or you wouldn’t have kissed our best friend!”_

“Well…that might not be the first time it’s happened this trip,” you waited for him to say something, but the line was deathly silent, “Joong?”

His voice was quiet as he came to a realisation, _“I’m going to be the permanent third wheel,”_

“Hardly. I don’t even know why this is all happening, where… _this_ came from,” you sighed.

 _“Y/n, you know you two have always been … different towards each other. There were so many times where I was sure you guys were secretly dating and not telling me,”_ you both laughed weakly, _“So, do you think you have feelings for him?”_

That was the million-dollar question. What did you feel for Seonghwa? For the longest time, he and Hongjoong were the source of your happiness; your brightest childhood memories stemmed from them and the dumb adventures you would wind up in. But things were always different with Seonghwa than they were with Hongjoong.

Joong was like your brother, the best platonic soulmate you could have asked for. But that’s just it, _platonic_ soulmates. You would both sacrifice anything for each other, but he wasn’t romantically meant for you.

But Seonghwa. Seonghwa wasn’t Hongjoong. Seonghwa was your Prince Charming from the very beginning. He taught you how to tie your shoelaces, scared off bullies in the playground for you, he would come over after you watched horror movies late at night and got scared, he would walk you home after parties just to make sure you were safe. He made you feel warm and fuzzy inside without ever meaning to. He had always meant something a little different to you, and the private memories you shared with him showed that.

Like the night before he left for summer camp, under the stars while you were wrapped in a blanket, he told you he would miss you and placed the softest kiss on your lips, your _first_ kiss. Or when your childhood dog passed away and he bought you a teddy bear with his pocket money, just so you wouldn’t feel unsafe.

He always went above and beyond for you. Always.

You felt shaky, “I… I think I might like-like Seonghwa, Joong,”

_“Well, I’m glad you’re realising this now,”_

You groaned and pulled the covers over your face as if they could protect you from this conversation, “But this ruins everything. I can’t date someone who’s hated my guts for the past fifty years for _whatever_ reason,”

His voice sounded nervous as he spoke, _“Y/n, do you have any recollection of Clara Davies’ summer house party?”_

A bad taste settled in your mouth, “Joong you know he broke up with me that night why would you-“

 _“Just hear me out,”_ he interrupted, _“How much of that night do you remember?”_

You tried to recall that night, but the few memories you did have were fuzzy at best, “Not a whole lot after Nathan climbed onto the table and announced to the whole party that I was, and I quote, ‘a desperate, attention-seeking whore’ and publicly broke up with me,”

He paused, as if silently debating whether to continue or not, before sighing, _“Well…you were so upset that night that you tried to drown your sorrows in as much alcohol as you could get your hands on. Your friends tried to get you to leave with them and go handle the situation in private but you wouldn’t listen to them, you wanted to stay at the party,”_ as he spoke you could vaguely recall the events happening.

_“They asked me to come pick you up but I was visiting my grandparents and I was hours away at the time, so I called-“_

“Seonghwa. He picked me up, I remember him driving me home and I almost puked in his car,” you interjected as you suddenly remembered a detail about the night.

_“He also got into a fight with Nathan before he drove you home. They had a huge screaming match outside the party and he almost got his ass handed to him but the cops were called due to a noise complaint and they broke it all up,”_

You released a shaky breath, “I don’t remember any of that,”

Hongjoong laughed softly, _“No, you were passed out in the car at the time. But when he finally got you home you guys spoke; can you remember anything you spoke about?”_

You furrowed your brow, trying to clear your mind and picture that night as best as possible, but all you could remember was waking up the next day with the worst hangover of your life and a hole in your chest that felt like it would never be filled.

“It’s been too long Joong, I went through such a bad depressive phase after that. I don’t remember much of anything that happened even months after that night,” your voice was weak as the cold feelings associated with that time seeped into your skin.

_“Hey, it’s okay if you don’t remember. Just, try to speak to him about that night, I think that will clear things up for both of you,”_

“I hope you’re right, Joong.”

…

After a contemplative shower, and a long sit in front of the mirror to make yourself look presentable, you started the trek to the main building. Seonghwa had ignored all three of your messages, blatantly leaving them on read. You couldn’t understand why he would go through the effort of making you breakfast in bed if he was just going to ignore you afterwards. Nothing he did made sense anymore. Nothing in general made sense anymore.

You entered the big double doors, immediately noticing new faces dotted around the room and you smiled at them as you went to hang up your coat.

“You know,” a handsome blonde man walked over to you, “it’s tradition for the best man and the maid of honour to hook up, and I feel like a fish I’m so hooked on you” you both paused for a minute before he broke into laughter, “I’m San, James’ idiot best friend. Sorry for the bad joke I don’t know how to handle social situations without humour,”

You shook his hand, laughing at his ludicrous introduction, “Y/n, pleasure to meet you,”

“Nice to finally meet you too, James gave me the lowdown on the bridesmaids when I agreed to be the best man. I’ve heard a lot of good things about you,”

James walked over to the two of you, “Me? Speaking fondly of my mess of a sister-in-law? Never,”

You smiled and shoved him lightly, “James knows too many embarrassing stories about me, luckily I know a lot about him. Hey James, remember that time Lou got you to model lingerie for her,”

He reddened and began stuttering, causing San to burst into laughter, “I’m going to kill you later on,” he walked off quickly and left you and San to laugh together.

You fell into comfortable conversation with him as if you’d been friends for years. He was funny and made you laugh easily, momentarily distracting you from the bubbling unease that lingered in your stomach. You couldn’t see Seonghwa’s familiar blond head anywhere in the room.

You were talking about your university degree and where you wanted to go with it when your conversation got interrupted.

“Oh god, who is this old Grandma?” you turned around to see your cousin, Jongho. He had one arm open for a hug, the other holding his sister, Yuna.

“I’m like seven months older than you, pipe down, Grandpa,” you gave him a hug before turning to Yuna, “Hi there baby, how have you been?” you opened your arms and Jongho passed her to you.

“Mum said you might want to take her for a while,” he stretched his arms above his head, his joints cracking loudly, “Finally, I’m free,” you glared at him.

You adjusted her on your hip, “San, this is my evil cousin, Jongho. He’s quite literally the spawn of Satan and would happily sell you down the drain for a bag of Doritos,”

They shook hands, “Nice to meet you, I’m the best man,”

The three of you started talking about the rehearsal dinner tonight. Your mind kept wandering to where Seonghwa could be through the entire conversation and it made you feel guilty for being bad company.

While San was speaking you noticed Yuna tugging down your top, trying to expose you, “Sorry San, has she been fed yet?”

Jongho shook his head, “Baby bag is in the lounge with mum,”

“Cool, see you both later, let’s go get you some food bubba,”

You walked through to the lounge and easily located her yellow baby bag next to her mother. After the obligatory ‘I can’t believe how grown-up you are’ conversation from her and the rest of the middle-aged ladies you grabbed the bag, slinging it over your shoulder and heading for the kitchen.

Having babysat Yuna on countless occasions meant you knew how to look after her more than most. You gently bounced her in your arms as you waited for the bottle to warm up. She was happily babbling away in her own world and you spoke back to her as if you understood what she was saying, your heartwarming when she would smile at your acknowledgement. You tested the milk temperature, grabbed a nursing towel and sat with her at the kitchen island. She was very hungry and drank far too quickly, milk spilling over her full cheeks.

You were so absorbed in your little bubble with Yuna that you almost missed a familiar voice from the lounge area. Seonghwa. Yuna was almost finished her bottle and her eyes were beginning to droop so you had no qualms with handing her over to her mother and going to give the man in question a piece of your mind.

He noticed the deadly expression you were sporting and smiled, politely excusing himself from his conversation and walking to you.

“Was breakfast not to your liking?” his voice held a smug tone.

You rolled your eyes, ignoring his question, “Where the heck have you been? I was worried all morning,”

He looked completely unbothered by your statement, “Out. I was busy,”

“A message would have been nice,” you turned your attention back to the guests around you, not wanting to look at his cocky expression.

He placed a hand on your waist and gently brought you closer to him. He leant down to your ear, “Y/n dear, you seem to think I owe you more than I do,” his breath ghosted over your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. “I’m not your boyfriend Y/n, I can do as I please without explaining myself to you,” his voice was low and taunting.

If he wanted to play that game then so be it.

You linked your arms around his neck smiling up at him sweetly, “That’s funny because _you’re_ the one who brought _me_ breakfast in bed this morning,” his jaw clenched minutely, “And _you_ dressed _me_ last night. And _you_ initiated our kiss the other night. That sounds like a lot of intimacy for someone who’s ‘not my boyfriend,”’

He looked away from you and shook his head before taking your hand in his and dragging you away from everyone and into a vacant closet down the hall. It was a tight fit, barely a square meter for both of you to squeeze into.

He turned on the light and suddenly you felt like you were being interrogated, “What the hell do you think you’re playing at, Y/n?” his voice was dangerously calm.

You searched his face but saw no expression, “You tell me Seonghwa. What’s with the gifts? And whatever _this_ is?” you motioned between the two of you.

“This is nothing, you’re just searching for connections that don-“

“What happened after Clara Davies’ party?” his eyes bulged at your question and you knew Hongjoong was right after all, “That’s what all this bickering is about, isn’t it? Whatever I did that night caused this,”

His face reeled with different emotions as he debated his next move. He settled on a look of defeat and sighed, “How much do you remember?”

“I remember up to you pulling over on the side of the road so I could puke up what I can only assume was about a litre of vodka and a lot of regrets,” the corners of his mouth perked up in a silent laugh, “Nothing passed that point I’m afraid,”

He leaned against the wall, “You were completely shitfaced, crying like a blubbering mess, and falling over air. We weren’t even supposed to be friends at that point, but I couldn’t leave you at the party like that,” you leaned against the wall opposite him and motioned for him to continue.

“I took you back to your place, snuck you in _somehow._ I’m still surprised your parents didn’t wake up with how noisy you were being,” he smiled at the memory, “I helped you wash your face and brush your disgusting teeth before getting you into your room. Which is where everything starts to go downhill really,”

He kept his eyes closed as he spoke, his head tipped back against the wall, “After I helped you get changed I tried to leave but you burst into tears and complained that you didn’t want to be alone, so of course I stayed,” he screwed his eyes shut further and you knew whatever was coming next wasn’t going to be pleasant.

“Did I puke on you?”

He laughed weakly and shook his head, “That would have been better, trust me. We were laying on your bed, you were crying into my chest and I held you,”

You shook your head, “That’s not that bad, minus the snot and tears,”

He opened his eyes, looking directly into yours with a pained expression, “You told me you wanted me instead of him,” The air was knocked out of your lungs, “That you wished it had been me you fell in love with and not him,”

You couldn’t form words. Your mouth kept opening but the words would get caught before they ever manifested.

Seonghwa continued, “You just kept repeating ‘I want you’ over and over and in so many different ways and I- fuck… I actually believed you for a split second, ya know?” he sounded so broken.

“And then what happened?” your voice sounded smaller than you had intended.

He tilted his head at the sound of your voice, “You climbed into my lap and we made out, and that’s as far as it went, I promise,” he was being completely sincere, you could tell by his voice that he was telling the truth, “it lasted for two minutes tops before I stopped it all. I couldn’t do anything to you when you were that vulnerable,”

You let out a shaky breath you didn’t realise you had been holding, “Always the gentleman,” you joked dryly.

His lips perked up before slowly dropping, “I told you to call me the next day if you still felt the same way and we’d go for coffee and talk everything through, then I went home,”

You drew your brows together in confusion, “But I don’t remember us going for coffee?”

He laughed weakly, “That’s exactly it. We didn’t. You didn’t remember any of it the next day. It was like the whole thing never happened to anyone, except me,”

“Seonghwa, I’m so sorry I…” but you didn’t know what to say. What could you say? You couldn’t apologise for not remembering the night because that was out of your control. So were your actions. And your words came from a place buried so deep within you that you didn’t want to ever speak about them, let alone declare them to the person they were intended for.

He pushed himself off the wall and shrugged, “It’s whatever I guess,” he moved to go towards the door, but you stopped him.

Something didn’t add up, “Wait, so you ignored me and were a dick to me for so long because I told you I loved you?”

His expression changed and he scoffed, “You still don’t get it, wow, oh my God,” he was laughing obnoxiously.

“Get what?” his behaviour was beginning to irritate you again.

“How are you so oblivious, Y/n? Honestly, everyone has told you by now; I know Lou has, Hongjoong probably too,” He gestured wildly in the small cupboard, his voice louder than before, “Hell, I’ve even tried telling you too, Y/n,”

You gritted your teeth, “Telling me what?”

He shook his head in disbelief, “You really couldn’t tell that I was head over heels in love with you, huh?” you felt your stomach tie in knots, your heartbeat picking up.

“Sweet Jesus Christ, I had my heart broken by you time and time again and you never even realised you were doing it, Y/n. I had no other choice but to push you away, being mean to you was so much easier than the alternative. I couldn’t let you know how I felt,” his words were laced with venom, but you could see the tears welling in his eyes.

You felt your lip tremble, “Seonghwa, you know everything was so complicated back then with Nathan. Even if I had known, I don’t think I could have loved you with him in my life,”

He wiped at his eyes furiously, “That’s the thing, Y/n, I never even expected you to love me back,”

You wanted to say something, you wanted to tell him you meant your drunken words, that you could be better for him now, anything. But when you looked into his eyes and saw how much pain was trapped in them you couldn’t find the words.

He sniffled, “I’m sorry, I can’t do this right now,” he moved around you to open the door.

“Seonghwa wait, I-“ The door slammed shut in your face. You recoiled in on yourself and slid down to the floor.

Seonghwa had always been there, through everything. He never asked for anything, he never demanded your attention or affection. He never expected anything from you. He had been perfectly content with ignoring his feelings for you for the rest of your lives and he would never have brought it up.

But you gave him a glimmer of hope, the words he had longed to hear. You let him believe for even just a second that he could have what he craved. And although your words were true, they may have done more damage than you could ever repair.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- warnings: mild description of a panic attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- a/n: hello lovelies! this is the final chapter of playing nice for those who do not want to read smut. there will be one last update for all your horny heathens out there who want to see soft prince seonghwa get some action, but i know that not everyone is here for smut and some people like a happy ending that doesn’t involve it. so this is for you, all my soft stan babies who are too good and pure for this world.

_..._

You exited the cupboard immediately overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people. They were talking and laughing loudly, music was playing, kids were running around squealing.

Everything felt too loud.

You took shaky steps forward, making your way towards the front door. Everyone felt too close, bumping into you as you tried to exit the building. They would try touching you as they apologised, only making your rising panic quicken. You felt trapped. The room was far too hot. It was so suffocating. Panic inducing. Everything was too much. Too much. _Too much toomuchtoomuchtoo_ -

“Hey,” you jumped, clutching your chest, your heart beating erratically, ”Woah, woah, woah, calm down. What’s wrong?” San looked worried as he noticed your wide eyes and shaking form.

You shook your head, unconsciously fidgeting with your necklace, “Nothing, nothing’s up. I just uhh,” your eyes darted around the room to no avail, he wasn’t here, “I need air, just need air,” you gestured towards the door.

He looked unconvinced but smiled warmly regardless, “I’ll join you, wouldn’t want a bear to attack you or anything,” he was already walking to the coat rack before you could decline and you had a feeling he wasn’t about to take no for an answer on this.

The snow was falling harder than it had been for the past few days and it was significantly colder outside. The harsh weather was welcomed though, it made your body feel cold for a reason beyond your own stupidity.

You walked in tandem towards the lake, both of you consumed in your own thoughts, “Sooo,” San broke the silence, “You wanna talk about why I saw a guy exiting the same cupboard as you?”

You deeply inhaled the cold air, allowing it to calm your senses, “That’s Seonghwa,”

“Ahh the boyfriend,” you cringed at the title and he noticed, “Not the boyfriend?”

You shook your head, “Fake boyfriend, very long story. Although now I guess he’s kinda my ex-fake boyfriend,”

“Sounds complicated,” you nodded, “Do you frequent cupboards with ex-fake boyfriends often?”

You laughed, the sound felt foreign to you, “Not very often no, we had some things we needed to talk about in private,”

He nodded his head, “Hmm I see, makes perfect sense. I too choose damp and dimly lit cupboards to talk with my ex fake boyfriends,” his tone was playful and he made you laugh again.

You both turned and looked behind you at the sound of fast-approaching footsteps, “Wait up slowpokes,” Jongho was jogging up to the two of you, a snowball in hand.

“Jongho, don’t you dare-“ you were cut off with a shriek, the cold impact against your cheek shocking you.

San burst into laughter, clutching his stomach and almost falling over. Jongho was just as content with himself, wiping away tears as he laughed.

You bent down and scooped up snow, hurtling it at San, aimed perfectly at his neck. You smiled widely, watching him yelp and jump around as the snow trickled down his back. He looked up at you with a smirk, “Oh, this means war,”

The three of you ran around the old campgrounds, your laughter and exuberant shouts caught the attention of the other patrons within the main building. Children you had never seen before tugged on their parents’ hands and begged them to join in, breaking into huge smiles when they were granted permission. Lou and James ran up to you alongside them, already flinging snow at each other and laughing loudly.

Before you knew it there was a full-blown snow war taking place. Groomsmen vs bridesmaids, kids’ vs adults, brides side vs grooms’; it was frostbitten carnage.

You squealed and ran away from San, “Truce! Truce!” you shouted, looking behind you at the smiling man. Your laughter was cut short as you tripped over a log and fell into a pile of snow. San had been so close behind you that he couldn’t slow down in time, falling over your feet and landing partially on you.

You both laughed loudly, “That hurt you idiot,” you pushed him off of you and rose to your feet, dusting off as much snow as you could.

San propped himself up on an elbow, rubbing his knee, “I don’t get why that’s always included in romance movies,” he took your outstretched hand and got up, “That was not romantic or comfortable at all, I’m gonna bruise so bad,”

You laughed and looked back over at the rest of the group, your eyes wandering over all your friends and family, feeling warm at the sight of them being carefree and enjoying themselves, “I could get used to all of this,” you mused.

“Happiness looks good on you,” you smiled at each other before running back, headfirst, into all the fun.

…

You wrapped your coat around you further as you walked back to the cabin, the snow was now falling rapidly and heavily around you. San was walking alongside you, insisting that you needed an escort in the bad weather, “Do you think the storm will affect the wedding tomorrow?” he spoke loudly, making sure you could hear him over the wind.

“I hope not, Lou would be devastated,” you pushed harder against the storm, barely able to see through the snow hitting your face.

He wiped the snow away from his face, causing him to not look where he was going and almost trip. You grabbed his arm and steadied him, “Be careful you klutz,”

He laughed, completely unphased by him clumsiness, “What can I say, I guess I can’t help falling for you,” you rolled your eyes and reached for your key.

You unlocked the door with cold, shaky hands. The lights and heating were both turned off, “Ahh shit, I forgot the heating switches off after a couple days,” you headed straight over to the boiler and turned it back on, the pipes groaned within the walls.

You heard San shuffling his feet in the doorway, “You gonna be okay in this cold, dark cabin all by yourself?” you walked back towards the front door, seeing him lean against the doorway, a lazy smile on his face.

“I think I’ll manage. But if you hear any blood-curdling screams, please come check on me,”

He pushed himself off the frame, “Mmmkay, as you wish,” he bowed dramatically making you giggle, “Sleep well tonight, babe,”

You smiled softly, “Sleep well, San,” he glanced you over once more before nodding and walking off into the snowstorm.

You shut the door and sighed, seeing your breath in the cold room, before pulling out your phone and opening your chat with Seonghwa for the hundredth time since the argument.

_Active 10 hours ago…_

You sighed and tried calling him again, praying he would give you some sign that he was alive beyond his cryptic messages to Hongjoong.

_Ring…ring…rin- Hey, it’s Seonghwa, leave a message after the-_

You hung up before the pre-recorded message could finish, the fact that it rang just meant he was purposefully ignoring you. You stripped out of your damp clothes and changed into a pair of fluffy pyjamas. Just as you were about to put on the matching fluffy top you glanced over to Seonghwa’s bag.

There on top of all his clothing was an oversized t-shirt that called to you like a shining beacon of fresh lemony comfort. It wouldn’t hurt to wear it for one night, just to make yourself feel slightly less alone, right? There’s no harm in that at all. It was perfectly acceptable and normal.

Before overthinking the decision further, you pulled the top over your head and snuggled deeper into the freezing cold bed. You let the sheets and Seonghwa’s cologne engulf you completely as you laid awake in bed, consumed by his words.

You felt the pain and anguish he had shown you, the look he gave you was etched into your heart and it _hurt_. It permeated through your chest, a deep sinking hurt that could easily swallow you whole, and yet it taunted you, it wanted you to hurt. It wanted you to feel what he felt.

You gripped onto the pillow he used, the tremors of your crying had begun to wrack through your body. He could be anywhere. The storm was wailing outside, careless and unwavering in its pursuit of destruction, and he was in it, _somewhere_. You felt cold and empty, if anything happened to him it would be your fault.

…

The room bustled with hectic, erratic energy. Men with boxes and trays full of food paraded past you and into the kitchen to unload and prepare for a full day of cooking. A team of women were dotted around the venue, decorating it with bouquets of fresh flower arrangements. The best men were trying, and failing, to set up the equipment for the DJ. It was loud, it was chaotic, and you were stood amongst it all, clipboard in hand and stress levels dangerously high.

“San be careful with those speakers they’re on loan,” you shouted to him from the other side of the room.

He gave you a thumbs up, “Careful is my middle name,”

You rolled your eyes and went to help one of the florists who was struggling to hang up a basket of flowers. Once the room looked somewhat under control you headed back outside and down to the lake, seeing your dad and his reluctant volunteers setting up the chairs ready for the ceremony. The snow from the previous night before had piled high around the old campgrounds and they had spent all morning trying to shovel it enough for people to be able to walk through.

He spotted you and waved, “How’s it look from over there?” you stopped under the floral archway that marked the beginning of Lou’s aisle. The lake was dark and calm behind the altar, the mountains off in the distance created the perfect backdrop for a wedding. You walk down the freshly pebbled aisle, checking all the chairs were perfectly inline as you went, stopping occasionally to rearrange the bundles of pinecones and evergreen branches that lined the aisle.

You took a deep breath and smiled at him, “Absolutely perfect dad, she’s going to love it. All of it,” he smiled back at you before turning to instruct the rest of the group to move onto the reception area so they could shovel away the snow there.

“Thank you for helping out sweetie, now go get ready and check on Lou, don’t want her getting cold feet,” he kissed your head and let you go up towards her cabin.

…

“What if he isn’t _‘the one’’_?” Lou was hyperventilating, breathing rapidly into a brown paper bag that Rachel was holding for her.

“Lou, where the hell is this coming from?” you looked at her with wide eyes, “You’ve been in love with James for six years, _Six_! Do you really think that you would have lasted this long if he wasn’t the right man for you?”

You continued to curl her hair while she mulled over your words. Then she abruptly pushed away the bag and turned to you, “Lou, be careful I almost burn-“

“You’ve been with Hongjoong for your entire life and yet you two aren’t getting married, time means nothing,” she looked panicked, tears threatening to spill from her wide eyes.

You sighed and passed the curling wand to Rachel, “We’re just friends Lou, that’s completely different,”

“Then what about Seonghwa?” your blood ran cold at the mention of his name, “You two are basically dating and yet look where we are, Y/n,”

The room stilled at her outburst and you took a shaky breath, “Seonghwa… he’s not James, Lou. You can’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s because no one has experienced the kind of love you and James share. It’s the kind of love you read about in books Lou, not some dumb puppy love that turned sour,” you gently dabbed away the tears from her cheeks, “You’re just second-guessing yourself for no reason, Lou. He’s the one,”

Her breathing slowed down and she nodded slowly, “You’re right,” the bridesmaids all released loud breaths, making everyone laugh before returning back to work. Lou then looked at you quizzically, “Hang on, where is Seonghwa, I don’t remember seeing him yesterday?”

You felt the nerves bubble in your stomach again, “I don’t actually know. We had an argument yesterday and he didn’t come back to the cabin last night, and his car still isn’t here so…” you trailed off your sentence, turning to grab her makeup bag.

She softly grabbed your hand, “Y/n go call him, we’ll be fine here,” she gestured to the team of girls around her.

You shook your head, “It keeps going to voicemail. He told Hongjoong he wanted space or something, I don’t know. He just doesn’t want to talk to me now,” your voice was shaky, you blinked furiously and stopped the tears from falling.

She nodded solemnly before clapping her hands, “Peach Bellini’s anyone?” you smiled at her in a silent thanks, not wanting to panic about Seonghwa further.

You put on your makeup while getting slightly tipsy together, the music was turned up and all the previous worry was out the window. There was a loud knock at the door and Rachel jumped up to open it, squealing and dragging a tall man with a camera in before he even had a chance to speak.

He looked so out of place and startled, “Hi,” he waved to the room, giving a lopsided smile, “I’m Yunho, the photographer,” he gestured to the camera around his neck. The room broke out in loud cheers and everyone directed him to take various pictures in ridiculous poses.

He made eye contact with you and you could see the panic in his eyes. You laughed and shrugged at him, taking another sip of your cocktail.

…

You walked down the line of groomsmen, fixing their ties and straightening out their boutonnieres, “Okay, you know the drill we practised this all earlier,”

You reached San and he gave you a warm smile, ”Relax, Y/n. It’s all going to go well okay?”

You took a deep breath and nodded, “You’re right, I’m just nervous,”

He laughed, “It’s not your wedding Y/n, you’ve got nothing to worry about,”

You smoothed out your dress, the material felt so soft against your skin, “I know, I know,” you didn’t feel right about celebrating when Seonghwa was nowhere to be seen.

San sighed and gently grabbed your shoulders, causing you to look up at him, “Y/n, you have more important things to focus on now than a dumb boy,”

“He’s right, you know,” you broke out of his grasp, turning around to see Seonghwa leaning on a nearby tree, decked out in an obnoxiously well-fitting suit, “Boys are dumb,”

You clenched your fists and went to march over to him, but the violin quartet began playing, signalling the start of the ceremony. You were frozen in place, looking back down the aisle as Jack and Diane began walking towards the alter. You didn’t have time for this now.

You turned to San, “30 seconds, be right back,” he whisper shouted at you to come back but you were already on a mission.

He looked perfectly calm as you approached him, “Where the hell have you been, you asshole?” You poked his chest, “I’ve been fucking worried _sick_ all night and you didn’t even have the basic decency to-“

His hand came from behind his back, holding a small white tea rose. He tucked it behind your ear, his thumb grazing your cheek for a brief second before dropping it back to his side. His eyes drifted down your body as he admired your maid of honour dress, a small smile playing on his lips.

You were completely stunned, trying to decipher what was going on in his head. You noticed he had concealer under his eyes, and a slight pink tint on his lips, he looked effortlessly gorgeous as always. He smirked at you while you admired his face, nodding his head in San’s direction.

You cautiously turned around and saw it was almost your turn to walk down the aisle, San was waving you over frantically. You turned back around to Seonghwa, “This isn’t over. Go take your seat,”

San looked at you with wide panicked eyes when you got to him just in time to link arms and begin your walk, “That was a close call,” he whispered to you. You ignored him and smiled at the guests on your way down to the rustic wooden alter.

You smiled at James who was bouncing in place subtly, his excitement getting the better of him. He beamed back at you and you knew without a doubt that he was the right man for your sister.

Your eyes wandered over his shoulder where Nathan glared at you, his black eye now concealed thanks to one of the other lovely bridesmaids. His face held a look of pure disgust and hatred, and you tried not to falter when you looked at him, but your efforts were futile as San noticed the change in your expression. He elbowed Nathan and muttered something under his breath that made Nathan roll his eyes and look and James instead. You nodded at him in thanks and then turned your attention to the forest as Lou began her walk down the aisle.

She looked ethereal, absolutely breath-taking, like a true goddess. The train of her dress rolled over the dark pebbles as she followed the trail of white flower petals down to her future. You were sure her feet never touched the ground, her movements were far too soft and elegant to be that of a mere mortal. Her veil swayed lightly around her shoulders as she walked giving her a soft halo and making her look even more angelic.

You felt yourself tearing up at the sight of her and she smiled and waved at you, causing you to both laugh lightly. You waited until she had kissed your father on the cheek before nodding at the eager James, giving him the all-clear to turn around.

“Oh my…” His jaw dropped to the ground, causing the wedding party to all laugh, Lou’s shoulders gently shaking with both tears and laughter. You watched James’ shaky hands reach out for hers, his tears falling freely.

“Please be seated,” the ministers voice hushed the crowd and the ceremony began.

You found your eyes drifting over the crowd to find Seonghwa’s during their vows. Their words of loving each other in the face of adversity and the simple promise of _forever_ made your heart swell. When you found the familiar head of blond hair you felt the knot in your stomach tighten.

He was already looking at you.

He smirked at you, his fingers toying with his lips as if he was deep in thought over the words the couple were sharing. He looked like sin and you were smart enough to realise it was all on purpose. You tore your gaze away from him and focussed on the happiest moment of your sister’s life. Your cheeks feeling warm in the cold winter air.

…

The room was filled with joyous energy as San finished his best man speech, everyone was wiping away tears of laughter and James was still hidden under the table, hiding in embarrassment.

“Y/n, it’s your turn please,” he called from under the cloth, a hand sticking out to gesture you to continue, making the room laugh again.

You stood up, your cue cards in hand, and the room went silent in anticipation, “Well, I’m not nearly as funny as San so I apologise for that in advance,” James emerged from under the table and smiled at you, giving everyone a shy wave.

“I thought I knew a lot about love; everyone does. You see movies like Titanic, Pretty Woman, The Notebook, even Shrek, and they give you these foundations to build upon your idea of what love should be. Love should be spontaneous, raw, full of living in the moment. Love should be passionate, unexpected. Love should be sweeping you off your feet, pining, unwavering commitment. Us against the world,” Lou smiled at James and took his hand in hers.

You smiled at the two of them and continued, “But how many of us truly get to experience that? How many of us can wholeheartedly say we’ve found our happily ever after moment? I know for a fact that I haven’t,” you let your gaze fall to Nathan, his eyes widened at your bold words, “Not yet. But I know I will,” you turned to Seonghwa, seeing him holding his phone up recording the moment.

His eyes lit up when you looked at him, his cheeks holding a small blush as the people around him turned to look at him too.

“Because watching Lou and James fall in love _, true_ love, has given me hope that it can happen to me. That happily ever afters can happen to all of us…”

When you finally raised your glass in a toast the room was full of sniffles and tears, your words of love and admiration towards Lou and James’ relationship had moved everyone.

James came over to you and wrapped you in a tight hug, “Now that my little sister has made everyone all emotional, how about we continue those sad vibes on the dancefloor, first dance time!” Everyone clapped and cheered as Lou and James walked hand in hand down to the dancefloor.

_Ease my Mind_ flowed through the speakers as the two twirled around the room. You watched them giggle and stumble over each other, completely lost in their own little world. They started dragging other couples onto the dance floor to dance with them, Lou taking Jack’s hand while James took your mother’s. Soon the dancefloor was swarmed with couples slow dancing badly, the bright smiles on their faces as they stood on each other’s toes and bumped into the people around them made your heart swell with warmth.

You were in the middle of clapping and cheering for no one in particular when you smelled a familiar lemony scent followed closely by a pair of hands on your waist, “Your speech was quite lovely,” he mumbled into the shell of your ear, the vibrations settling into your skin.

You turned your head to look at him, “Don’t think I’ve forgiven you yet mister,”

He tightened his grasp on you so you couldn’t leave, “I know. I just needed to get my head in the game,”

You snorted, trying not to laugh loudly, “You did NOT just quote _High School Musical_ at me when we’re supposed to be having an important conversation,”

He smiled, tucking his head into your neck, “Maybe I did, but only because I know it’ll make you like me again,”

“You’ll have to do a lot more than just that,”

He hummed against your skin, “Okay, but you asked for it,”

“What do you mean?”

He ignored you, walking into the circle and bowing dramatically, his hand outstretched for yours, “May I have this dance?” the people nearby you cooed and whooped, making more people look. It was a painful chain reaction of embarrassment.

You quickly took his hand, “You’re an ass,” 

He laughed and tugged you close against him, “I know,”

You danced around the room, bodies pressed close together, lost in each other’s eyes completely. The rest of the world felt obsolete in that moment. It was just you and Seonghwa.

_Darling, only you can ease my mind,_

You noted how calm and wholeheartedly content you felt the moment you laid eyes on Seonghwa. In fact, you didn’t even need to see him to feel ease and tranquillity wash over you, he just had to be near and you knew you were safe. You just needed to smell him; his earthy, lemony cologne that is somewhat fresh and somewhat musky but wholly _Seonghwa._ Or even how the sound of his voice had been the only thing to pull you from the verge of oblivion countless times. His voice which is deep and rich and everything you need to hear when you wake up in the morning. His voice which is soft and warm as it mumbles careless sweet nothings into your skin before you’re lost to the clutches of sleep.

_  
Help me leave these lonely thoughts behind,_

Whether you wanted to admit it or not, thoughts of him consumed your conscious mind constantly. Every waking moment had been centred around him and how _‘I can’t go there, Seonghwa might be there,’_ or _‘ why does he have to look so fucking good when he’s being such and asshole’_ and countless other utterances that crossed your mind every single day. He was your mantra.

_  
When they pull me under, and I can feel my sanity start to unwind,_

He took your hand and gently twirled you around, your head felt like it was spinning, but it was no longer from the dancing.

_  
Darling, only you can ease my mind,_

You wrapped your hands around his neck and released a shaky breath, as if this was the first time you had properly laid eyes on him, “What’s running through that pretty little head of yours, Jelly Tot?”

And then he smiled.

Not that overly perfectly Disney Prince smile. No, the soft, warm, boyish smile that sweeps you off your feet and feels like _home._

“I love you,” the words were barely above a whisper, but you were close that they didn’t have to be any louder.

His step never faltered, his eyes never broke your contact, but his expression softened into something that could only be described as pure adoration, “You…do?”

You laughed softly, nodding, “I do, which is a really bad thing to say at someone else’s wedding,” he laughed, squeezing you closer as if to check that this moment was truly happening, “And I’m the biggest idiot for not realising it sooner, or at a better time,”

He hummed in agreement, “Yeah, you don’t really have the best track history with his whole love thing, maybe I shouldn’t believe you this time,” his words were light-hearted but you knew they came from a place of pain and scepticism.

“I promise you,” you held up your pinkie finger between the two of you, “This time, you can break my heart. You can rip it up, burn it, stomp on it until it’s a schnitzel, you can take my heart and do whatever you want with it. Because it’s yours, and I think it always has been, I was just too blind to see it,”

He looked at you with that same warm smile and interlocked his pinkie with yours, “I think I’ll just keep it safely next to mine, for now. Wouldn’t want someone else to steal it,”

You shook your head, “You’ll never have to worry about that again, promise,”

“Promise,”

You found yourself leaning closer towards him, “Maybe, _'promise'_ can be our always?”

His free hand cupped your cheek, “You’re such a dork,”

Sparks didn’t fly when your lips touched, the earth didn’t realign, and the kiss surely didn’t bring world peace, because you had already had all those moments. This kiss was more than a cliché life-altering moment, this kiss was confirmation. Solidification. A promise between two broken and unguided souls that together they would find a way. No matter what life threw at them, no matter how bitter and cold the world may be, they always had each other and that was never going to change.

_fin_


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- warnings: overstimulation, pet names, fingering, unprotected sex, slight dom/ sub themes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- a/n: hello lovelies! this chapter almost killed me. its almost 5am and i corrupted my usb for this smut, i had to rewrite the whole thing and i lost chapter five too BUT IT’S HERE. i did it, i finished my first ever fic. i will edit the entire fic at a later date, i do apologise if there are any major errors!!! im too tired to edit it now, sweet lord above i did it.

Loud upbeat music blasted through the hall. People danced with reckless abandon, laughed loudly and shared beloved stories with strangers; the two families and all their loved ones felt like one.

Seonghwa, San and James were in the centre of the dance floor, a circle had formed around them as they perfectly danced along to _Dalla Dalla_ ; it was the most unlikely combination of people dancing to the most unlikely song, and you were so glad you were recording the entire thing.

Just as the song ended you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned to see Jongho holding a very upset looking Yuna, “Mum’s completely wasted, and I can’t get her to stop crying, please help,”

Before you had a chance to stay anything Yuna was reaching for you, her tiny hands grabbing in your direction, “Hey sweetie come here,” she clung onto you as tightly as she could and cried, “It’s too loud for her, go grab her stuff and meet me on the back table,” he nodded before turning and heading for his mum.

You walked down the long line of tables, the sound was still loud but nowhere near as bad. When you reached the end of the long table Yuna had loosened her grip on you, her crying had softened slightly. You sat down at the table, placing your phone down before gently bouncing Yuna, using your free hand to rub her back soothingly.

Jongho came over with her baby bag, “You should have been her sibling, you’re better at this than me,”

“Nah, she needs you to scare off all her romantic interests when she’s older,”

He sat down next to you and furrowed his brow, “Bold of you to assume she’s going to be allowed out the house. If she gets my good looks she’ll have hoards chasing after her,” you rolled your eyes at him and reached for her bag.

You found a couple of jars of chocolate pudding in and amongst the less appealing baby food, and once Yuna saw food she stopped sobbing. While you put her bib around her Jongho opened up the jar for you.

Seonghwa and San approached your table as you began feeding her, the smiley duo were laughing loudly, “There you are!” Seonghwa came around the table and kissed your cheek before sitting next to you, a leg on either side of the bench, “I was just telling San about the time you walked into that huge spider’s web when we all went camping,”

Jongho joined in on the laughter, “Oh my god she started karate chopping the air trying to get the webs off of her,”

“Ha ha, very funny coming from the guy who cried when he got drunk because he couldn’t break a bowling ball in half,” San clapped loudly and threw his head back with laughter.

Jongho’s ears turned pink, “I almost broke my hand, it’s not my proudest moment,”

You felt Seonghwa shuffle forward, one of his hands resting on your stomach, the other joining yours that was wrapped around Yuna, “Hey beautiful,”

You fed Yuna another spoon of pudding, “Why’re you being so happy?”

He shrugged and rested his chin on your shoulder, “Because you make me happy,” You glanced at San and Jongho, who were deep in a conversation about Jongho’s acting career and weren’t paying attention to you.

“Who are you and what have you done with the brooding, mysterious Seonghwa?” Yuna pushed the spoon away when you tried to give her more.

“He’s had a change of heart,” You carefully wiped Yuna’s hands and face with a baby wipe, “Aaand maybe he likes seeing you acting so motherly,”

You laughed in disbelief, “You’re joking right?” he responded by placing a kiss over your pulse point, his hand on your stomach moved to squeeze your thigh, “Oh my god, you’re being serious,”

“Is that such a bad thing?” his lips caught on the shell of your ear, his voice was teasing and low. You closed your eyes and leaned into his touch ever so slightly.

“Save it for the bedroom you two, there’s a baby present,” San motioned to Jongho while giving you a smirk. Jongho began objecting loudly and the four of you began laughing and teasing the youngest member of your entourage, Yuna laughed and clapped joyously along with you.

You took out your phone and held it out to Jongho, “Make yourself useful and take a picture of us please?”

He dramatically rolled his eyes and took the phone while you straightened out your dress and tried to get Yuna to look towards her brother, “Oh god this is so disturbing, they look like a family,”

“Just take the picture, you weirdo,” after a couple taps Jongho handed the phone back and you examined the picture.

Yuna was laughing brightly, her eyes twinkled as she clapped her hands. You were smiling, the twinkling fairy lights around you warmed your skin and gave you an angelic glow, you looked gorgeous. And then there was Seonghwa, one arm wrapped around you and Yuna, the other leaning on the table, his head resting in his palm. He was devilishly handsome as ever but what caught you off guard was his expression, he was smiling down at you warmly, as if he only had eyes for you.

“You know you’re supposed to look at the camera, right?” you turn to look at him, he’s still smiling at you warmly.

“Oh really? I guess I missed the memo,” you shook your head and proceeded to send the picture to Hongjoong.

_‘I think he like-likes me back’_

_10:23pm_

It didn’t take long for Yuna to fall asleep in your arms as you gently bounced her while the four of you spoke about everything and nothing. There was never a moments silence or any awkward tension between you and you enjoyed the night more than you would have ever imagined.

Seonghwa took the keys from your old fumbling hands, smiling fondly before opening the door. He motioned for you to step in first, “After you, my lady,” you laughed and stepped in, turning on the lights on your way in. You threw your coat onto the rack, not needed it in the toasty cabin. Seonghwa closed the door behind him, leaning on it while he watched you bend over and take off your shoes.

“Not going to offer to help me this time?” you teased, enjoying the way his eyes devoured your body. He shook his head and smirked, putting one hand in his pocket while the other played with his lips.

You finished undoing your shoes and picked them up, moving to go into the bedroom before Seonghwa’s hand grabbed your wrist. You turned and looked at him quizzically, but he just continued to stare at you with an unwavering warmth in his eyes.

“Cat got your tongue, Hwa?” your attention shifted to his wandering hand as it travelled up your arm. He delicately cupped your cheek, his thumb grazing over your cheekbone, “What’re you thinking about?”

He smiled down at you, his eyes never leaving yours, “I can’t believe this is all real,” his other hand gently rested on your waist, bringing you even closer to him, “That you’re real,”

“What do you mean, Hwa?” He chuckled softly and shook his head, his eyes twinkled in the warm cabin light. Your lips melted against his, the shoes in your hand were dropped to the floor in favour of linking your arms around his neck, tugging him closer to you.

The kiss was deep and slow as you got lost in the feeling of each other. His hands roamed over your body, “I want this off,” he abruptly turned you around.

You felt lightheaded from the kiss and almost lost your balance, “Careful there, Casanova,” your words fell on deaf ears as the heat from his mouth stung your cold skin, still holding a slight chill from the blizzard outside. He slowly unzipped your dress, his lips following in the wake, kissing the newly exposed skin.

He returned to your neck, pausing his ministrations, “Are you sure about this?”

You turned around in his arms, eyes searching his for any ounce of doubt before responding, “I’ve never been more sure of anything else in my life,” he smiled once more before pulling you back into a kiss. This one was hungry, fuelled with a newly formed fire between you.

He pushed your dress off of you, his hands immediately grasping at the newly exposed skin with bruising excitement. He moaned into the kiss at the feeling of your soft skin, “Sweet Jesus,” he mumbled against your lips, breaking the kiss for a brief moment.

You rested your forehead against his, smiling further as he chased you lips, “You’re far too dressed for my liking,” you began unbuttoning his shirt, your fingers fumbling on some of the buttons but he didn’t mind, he looked down at you with his flushed boyish smile, completely doted. 

You followed the buttons down, slowly kneeling as you came to the last one. Still making eye contact with him as you began undoing his belt buckle. His eyes fluttered shut as you grazed his hard length through the layers of fabric. You could see his breathing becoming more shaky as you unzipped his trousers.

Just as you reached for his underwear he stopped you, gently grabbing your chin, “As much as id love for you to continue, and trust me I _really_ want you to, the curtains are open and I’m ninety-ninety percent sure I just saw someone walk passed,” you glanced over to the window, seeing stray party-goers heading back to their cabins.

You both scrambled to the bedroom, giggling and stumbling out of clothing, “You should have closed the curtains before we left,” you shouted at him, playfully slapping his bare chest.

He caught your hand and played with your fingers, “I wasn’t here before you left, this one’s on you baby,”

You slowly walked backwards towards the bed, guiding him with you, “Hmm and where did you go last night? I was really worried,” you shuffled back on the bed.

Seonghwa froze, taking in your body properly for the first time, “I uhh- _wow_ okay, umm-“ you giggled, watching him flush pink from his ears to his chest, “I stayed in town for the night, it was dumb and I missed you the whole time,” he carefully climbed up the bed towards you. Stopping when he was just above you, his hands slowly grazing your body, “God I’m an idiot,”

You laughed and nodded, “Agreed, but you’re my idiot now,”

“Oh, you think I’m funny, do you?” he pushed your thighs apart further, his fingers immediately rubbing slow circles against your clothed clit. He smirked when you gasped at his actions, “Am I still funny, baby?” he spoke into your neck as he nipped and sucked against your pulse point.

Your breathing quickened at his intense change of pace, his fingers began moving faster, causing you to moan loudly, “No- oh my god. No, I’m sorry,”

He smirked against your neck, continuing you decorate it with bruises, “Is that good?” his voice was deep and teasing, only adding to the pooling arousal you felt.

You nodded your head and hummed in response, “Use your words baby, I want you hear you,” The words sounds sweet on his lips, like candy, and you have to stop yourself from licking it off his tongue. He pushes your underwear aside and begins rubbing over your wet lips, making you moan and arch into his touch.

He groans against your skin as he sucks on your pulse point before nipping it with his teeth. “Mmm, it feels good Hwa,” your voice is light and heady, your chest breathing more heavily. He kisses down your chest, not caring that your bra was still covering your breasts, he had something else on his mind.

His fingers hooked under the band of your underwear, his eyes meeting yours for permission, “Don’t stop on my account,” he smirked up at you before pulling the down your legs, his lips lightly kissing down your legs just behind the offending fabric.

He pauses for a second, mouth agape as he stares at your glistening entrance, “Oooh fuck,” his eyes flicker up to yours and back, before he overthinks the situation he dives back between your legs.

You’re so sensitive, your legs shaking as he licks broad strokes up and down your core, suckling teasingly on your lips and your clit alternating to send your head spinning. You grip the bedsheets, legs shaking and body burning under his touch.

Your entrance flutters around his fingers when he slowly pushes them into you, your moans increasing in pitch, “Seonghwa- ah, sl- slow down, fuck-“ you can feel the knot in your stomach tightening, signalling that you’re close from his relentless pace.

He hummed the vibrations causing your legs to close around his head. He continued to suck harshly at your clit, his fingers now curling inside you with ease. You gripped his hair, tugging roughly as you opened your mouth in a silent scream, your legs shaking uncontrollably.

He slowed down his pace, placing gentle kisses over your sensitive clit before moving to kiss your thighs, “Baby calm down, release the hair,” he chuckled lowly in between kisses. You opened your eyes, not realising you closed them to begin with, and looked down at Seonghwa.

His mouth and chin were glistening, his cheeks were flushed red, his eyes heavy with lust and desire. He smiled up at you lazily, “You okay, love?” the term of endearment rolled off of his skilled tongue like the most casual thing in the world.

You laughed breathlessly and ruffled his hair, “Don’t act cute after you just giving me a spiritual experience like that,”

He laughed, coming back up your body and kissing your face all over, “I’ll act cute for the rest of my life if it makes you smile like that,”

You smiled up at him, “Maybe I don’t want cute right now,” your thumbs hook into his underwear and he laughs again.

“Already?”

“Unless you don’t want to?” you teased him, running your palm against the obvious bulge in his underwear, you feel his hardness as it presses into you, and he pulls away momentarily to catch his breath.

“I’ve wanted you for years Y/n, I just want you to be sure about this,” his voice is soft, all urgency lost.

You leaned forward and unclasped your bra, throwing it to the other side of the room, “I’m sure, love,” he laughed shyly as you used his term of endearment for him. before pulling you back into a deep kiss.

You felt him wiggle off his underwear, briefly breaking the kiss to remove it completely before settling back between your legs. Its near impossible to imagine a man so impossibly gorgeous as Seonghwa; lips plump and red from kissing, breathless and flushed, hair a mess, he’s a picture of perfection.

But the glint in his eyes tell you this heavenly moment won’t last for much longer.

“Condoms?” he looks over to your bags, his eyes darting around the room.

“I’ve got it covered don’t worry,” he looked at you sceptically, “Trust me, no babies any time soon I promise,” you tapped your arm where the tiny rod was inserted.

Seonghwa’s eyes bulged, “What’s that?” he began poking at it.

You laughed and swatted his hands away, “Not the time Hwa, oh my God,” 

“You’re right, I’ll ignore your anti-baby microchip for the time being,” he bent down and trapped your lips in another kiss. You tangled one of your hands in his hair, wrapping your legs around his waist. He groans as he feels himself pressing against your wet entrance.

He breaks the kiss, threading his fingers through yours with one hand, lining himself up with the other, “Ready?”

You nod your head, taking a deep relaxing breath before feeling him slowly push inside of you, both of you moaning at the feeling. His forehead rested against yours, his had gripping yours tightly, “F-fuck, Y/n, God, why are you so tight?”

You couldn’t respond, you just let out high, breathy moans and he sunk further into your tight heat. You could hear the sting of curses leaving his mouth, his voice was low and rough, he sounded unbelievably hot and it caused your walls to clench around him, tiny mewls escaping your mouth.

“Baby, please stay still- Oh my God- so tight- fuck, okay,” his words were incoherent as he finally bottomed out, enjoying the feeling of being completely inside you.

You squeezed his hand and he looked into your eyes, “Please, Seonghwa please,” your voice sounded small, the desperation coming though, “Move, please I want to feel you,”

He nodded before moving out of you slowly, both of you moaning at the feeling. He didn’t pause though, he immediately pushing back into you, “Ahhh, fuck baby,” He set a steady pace, both of your moans echoing through the room with every deep thrust. This is how you had been waiting to feel, heated, desperate, _connected._ Nothing else mattered in that moment, nothing else felt important, nothing would ever feel this good.

His lips came to your neck, “God, I can’t believe you’re mine,” he mumbled against your skin, “Mine,” he sucked harshly against your neck, “ _Mine,”_ He growled, losing himself in the feeling of you. He littered your skin with words of, ‘ _beautiful’, ‘perfect’, ‘unbelievable’,_ as if he was writing poetry along your skin.

Your skin felt like it was on fire, his lips only adding you the bright flames, and the pressure in your lower stomach was growing tighter and tighter, “Seonghwa,” you warned.

You felt him still for a second as he repositioned himself, both hands holding your hips before restarting at a brutal pace. You arched your back off the bed, your hands flying to his back to hold onto something, anything, as he pounded into you. You were sure your moans could be heard from the lake; you were practically screaming Seonghwa’s name.

You dug your nails into his back, pulling him closer to you, “Fuck, I can’t -Seonghwa-“ you could barely talk, you felt completely out of it, “Close,”

“I know baby, hold it for me,” You felt his thumb against your clit, rubbing fast circles into the oversensitive nub.

You bit down into his shoulder to stop from screaming, “Seonghwa,” your voice was muffled against his skin.

“Not yet baby,” he panted above you, his hips stuttering as his release neared. You could feel your legs shaking uncontrollably at his unrelenting pace, your entire body felt like it was in an inferno, the knot in your stomach was threatening to snap with every passing second.

You felt your eyes rolling back, your entire body going into a state of euphoria under Seonghwa’s ministrations, “Cum for me baby,” he groaned, feeling you tighten around him immediately, “Oh fu-ck, oh God, Y/n. Fuck!” you felt warmth filling your entire body as bliss washed over you. you felt heavy against the pillows as your muscles tensed and relaxed sporadically.

You could feel him throbbing inside you, the two of you still connected, he barely softens inside of you before pulling you to his chest and rolling you both over. You’re completely limp against him and he gently shushes you and brings you back down from you high, “You okay, love?” you hummed in response, making him chuckle softly, “You too tired for me to clean you up?”

You nodded slightly against him, “Five minutes,” he kissed the side of your head, his hands gently running along your skin to calm you down.

You stayed like that until you heard your ringtone coming from somewhere inside the cabin, “I’ll go check on that, you go pee,” Seonghwa helped you stand up, giving you a long, passionate kiss before heading to find your phone. He was completely unaware of how he made your stomach flip and your heart race by kissing you like that.

You exited the bathroom and immediately curled under the blankets next to him, “Who was it?” he handed you your phone and you saw three missed calls and ten messages all from Hongjoong, “Oh shit,” you felt panic rising in your chest as you called him back. What if something had happened? Why else would he try contacting you so many times, no clearly he was in trouble and you were too busy-

_“Y/N,”_ he nearly shouted down the phone.

“Joong? What happened? Are you okay?” you heard him laughing on the other side of the line, your panic immediately subsiding.

_“Oh, I’m fine, good to know you two haven’t forgotten me in your new relationship,”_ You heard the rest of the boys gasp and cheer in the background, Wooyoung shouting a painfully loud ‘FINALLY’ followed by someone shushing him loudly, _“Oh, by the way, the boys might know,”_

You and Seonghwa both laughed, “News travels fast huh?”

_“Very. Quick question, am I the Best Man or the Groom of Honour?”_

you look up at Seonghwa, both of you completely frozen before shouting “SHOT GUN,” in unison, the two of you breaking out into a playful argument over who gets to claim Joong for your wedding.

“That’s not fair I’ve known him for longer,”

“Yeah but he’s a guy, it only makes sense for him to be my best man,”

“That means nothing you just-“ Seonghwa cut you off with a deep kiss, causing you to moan down the receiver as he nibbled on your bottom lip.

_“Annnd that’s my cue to go, love you both! Use protection!”_ You let the phone fall to the bed, lost in the sea of blankets around you and Seonghwa as he rolled back on top of you. He kissed you slowly as if he was about to wake up and discover this was all a dream. his hands ghosting over your body, sending chills through your body.

He pulled back, looking down at you with complete adoration, “I love you, Jelly Tot,” his voice was barely above a whisper.

You smiled, pecking his lips once more, “I love you too, Mars Bars.”

fin.


End file.
